Falling for him

[stilllookingforthehills]

Help please! I've been seeing a friend of 25 years as a friend with benefits since last summer and I'm falling in love with him. Do I tell him how I feel or will it just end things? If so how would I start the conversation.

Definitely tell him. I personally would not want to be getting older and continuing a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship; especially when feelings are involved.

You also do not want to regret not expressing your feelings - it can only go two ways; he feels the same and you both make it official or he doesn’t feel the same and it allows you to move on and fall in love with someone who has a mutual love for you.

The worst thing you could do is sit on your feelings. If he moved on and begun a relationship, it would burn you. The unknown is always scary to approach, but who knows, it could blossom into something beautiful and if it doesn’t, it simply wasn’t meant to be.

I wish you all the best and I hope he feels the same for you :)

No one can tell you what will happen if you tell him. He could feel the same or he could run a mile.

Have you picked up any signs he cares in a way that's more than Fwb?

Has he said anything?

Would love to know what happens!

I'm in a similar position myself but my gut is telling me not to say anything. I've learnt too many times that not listening to my gut results in things going tits up!

I hope it all works out for you

I think you should tell him for your own sake.

I’d say the likelihood is, he’d not be interested in anything else but, for your own sanity, say something

Telling him and being gently rejected can't be much worse than the limbo you're currently in. Certainly not in the long term anyway.

Prepare for a "no" but hope for a "yes". Good luck.

Accidentally just say I love you during sex see what he says first.....before you tell him

Thank you so much to everyone for your time and advice, just what I needed. Will keep you all posted, I'm seeing him next week now so will let you know how I get on 😬

How did it go OP?

I think you have to tell him, not because I necessarily think you will get a mutual response but because you can't now continue with your current situation.

If it ends you'll be upset but will get over it. If it drags on it will be very painful for you.

And very occasionally it works out! My old boss married his FWB and is utterly crazy about her.