DD NOT upset about new partner...?

[missrabbitismyidol]

I'm just wondering if anyone can give me an alternative perspective on this.

DD1 was devastated when me and STBXH broke up. She was confused and we had many a bedtime of her sobbing "I want Mummy and Daddy to be together". She still says "I want Mummy and Daddy to live together" over a year after the split. I have a new partner who I have been cautious of introducing to DC, as my main concern is their feelings. Things have got more serious and I want them to meet so I have told DD about DP. Much to my shock, she is very excited. Her Dad cheated on me and she met the new partner. While outwardly she seemed quite positive about that, it did impact her behaviour. He now has another new partner who she has met and she said she likes her, although her behaviour has gone down hill again. She has told me that she's upset she hasn't met my new partner yet but she has met her Dad's. I don't know if I should take this at face value. We do have a date arranged for DC to meet my DP. But I'm slightly confused by her reaction - that she's excited to meet him and sad that it hasn't happened yet - but also wary, that it might upset her in a way she doesn't understand. I don't want to over think it but I do want to make sure that she's okay. Has anyone had a similar reaction from DC about a new partner and can offer me any words of wisdom?

Yep, my SD (now 8, 6 at the time) was fine with me from the outset despite hating that her parents had split. She still occasionally gets sad he's not living with us, but doesn't hold it against me.

My girlfriend was cautious and had her kids' interests at heart, like you.

The first time we met I focused more on playing with her than acting as mum's boyfriend, if that makes sense. Her little sister (then 2) wasn't half as attached to her dad (he'd more or less checked out with the pressure of two kids and wasn't home much) and just initially saw me as a useful diversion for her sister so she didn't have to share her mum so much :)

Nearly two years now and we're just about managing to stop holding our breath for the negative backlash!

I do think a large part is that we were just lucky. I hope you have it as easy as we did.

My DDs have been fine with my DP from the get go.

We introduced him super gradually (quick trips to the park etc with him for ages before anything more serious) and while when we moved in together it probably took six months for us (all!) to get used to living together, there was no behaviour backlash. My eldest is, in fact, much happier now!

How old is she? Sorry if I missed it. She sounds quite young but I couldn’t see an age.

I think after initial upset, many children and young teens are very resilient on this matter simply because it’s pretty common these days , the ones I know were more bothered about how any practical stuff affected their lives,

And depending on how things were before the split, the kids may very well agree it’s for the best and be excited to move on.

I wasn’t remotely fussed when mine divorced and was excited to meet their new partners as I knew they made them happy and therefore must be pretty good people. But I was twelve, maybe a younger child might find it harder.

Sorry, I forgot to add her age. She's 4.