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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Messages to old classmate

7 replies

MRSWOo7 · 18/06/2018 22:38

NC for this because previous posts allude to my employer and town.

I'm devastated about Facebook messages between my boyfriend of one year and a woman he recently added - a classmate who was not a close friend of his at school and who he hasn't seen for 20 years. She joined facebook recently. They've messaged a few times a week over the last two months.

He's told her she is "good looking"

He addresses her as "gorgeous" as in "hi gorgeous, how are you" She replies as "hi lovely. I'm ok" or sometimes "gorgeous" too

When she said she was off to the hairdresser he called her a "dark haired goddess"

He's confided in her about problems his daughter has

They've bonded over politics.

They've bonded over the World Cup!

She's talked of how alike they are.

She's empathised about them both being single parents to teenage girls (he's resident parent as is she).

He's said that if he bumps into her at a gig they both happen to be attending in August he'll "buy her a drink" but they've stopped short of making arrangements.

She's less flirty. She seems reserved.

No sex talk.

Things are normal otherwise and he hasn't hidden my existence on Facebook (he posted a nice pic of us at a party on Friday). However,he hasn't mentioned me in the messages at all - for example he saID that "he" went to London for a night - didn't mention me, and I was there.

Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
category12 · 18/06/2018 22:44

If you don't trust him and think he's after someone else, then bin him off. Life's too short.

dirtybadger · 18/06/2018 22:58

Sounds like he is lining her up pretty nicely. Cringe at the way he is talking to her. I'd be off for that.

somuchunanswered · 18/06/2018 23:01

I’d be repulsed if my partner spoke to me like that, never mind somebody else.

SuperSuperSuper · 19/06/2018 09:38

Strange that he hasn't mentioned you yet. Also, the "hi gorgeous" etc is definitely flirtatious. And the dark-haired thing is too.

Bonding over mutual interests is often a worry but can be innocent.

The lack of sex talk may be because she's reserved and he thinks she won't bite rather than because he doesn't want it. Sorry OP.

It's a short relationship and you've no mutual kids (I assume). Cut your losses. I know how disappointing it must be if you thought the relationship had legs but it's early to be this worried.

WasFatNowThin · 19/06/2018 09:43

He's flirting, it's so obvious. This could just be the start, don't put up with it - run!

SparklyMagpie · 19/06/2018 09:58

What made you check his messages?

Did you have a niggle before that?

saltedliquorice · 19/06/2018 10:10

Sorry OP he sounds like he definitely has designs on her. Kick him into touch then randomly message her and tell him what a waste of space he is.

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