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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this normal with depression? Do I wait or walk away?

3 replies

tn181 · 18/06/2018 12:54

My (ex?) Partner became depressed around four months ago. Everything seemed fine one second then the next he left me. He said this is something he must get through himself and that I cant help him. Nobody can.

He tells me he is hollow inside. Dead inside. Is unable to feel anything for anything or anyone, including me.

We have stayed in contact. Around a few times per week. And last week I cracked and asked him outright if he loved me anymore or not. He said he has no idea. I asked him if he wanted me to wait around until he gets a bit better and he says its up to me and he wouldnt want to give me false hope or to lead me on. Says he has this urge to push everyone away including me.

Then he will say things like if he hadnt got depression we would still be together. That he was happy with me before. That he loved me when he was not ill.

I have no idea if it is the depression talking or him.

For the record I am willing to wait but at the moment it seems like I have nothing to hold on to. We have been together for 20 years and we are now currently living apart.

Are the things he is saying usual with depression?

OP posts:
maymai · 18/06/2018 13:23

In my experience yes these things are usual feelings for some people suffering with depression.

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 18/06/2018 13:33

What’s he doing to improve his depression? Seeing a therapist? Anti depressants? Self help?

And has he ever had it before?

tn181 · 18/06/2018 13:39

This is the first time he has had depression. He just seemed to have a meltdown one day and threw me out. He has been given two different anti deoressents so far which have not helped and he is currently seeing his councellor once a week. He is still going to work because he has to, he has a mortgage but told me a few days ago that he can feel himself slipping at work now as well.
As for anything else he is doing to help himself he says he has no idea how. No idea what to do to help himself. Says he has checked out of everything in his life.

This is so hard. He is such a lovely man and its difficult to see him slip away and not be able to help him.

He says money problems and stress at work caused it and it was nothing to do with me or us.

OP posts:
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