After quite a few false starts over the last 6 months and 23 years of marriage (and quite a lot of emotional abuse), I’ve finally left my husband.
The children and I moved into a little rented cottage last week.
I’ve been on anti-depressants since May.
I’m running on adrenaline and keeping busy at the moment and avoiding ‘feeling’ by concentrating on ‘doing’, but it all feels a bit odd and scary.
And stupidly I miss him :(
My older children are home from university for the summer, and are very supportive.
I’ve caught up with a couple of old friends, who are caring and concerned.
He says he won’t (can’t afford) to give me any maintenance, called me a ‘money-grabbing bitch’ when I mentioned it, and told our 15 year old son that he would not give me a penny but would give the kids some cash for clothes when he can afford it.
He’s being reasonable about sharing out belongings, though we aren’t really speaking.
And I’m trying to keep things normal at work.
I hope I can keep all the balls in the air...