I think my husband hates my family!

[Franklek]

Looking for some advice.
My extended family live in an another country, and I’m really hoping to visit them soon. My husband is against this and has never meet them. He makes excuses every time I try to bring it up and says it’s too far to travel or he’s rather go else where for a holiday. He travels quite a lot so I just don’t understand why he’s making these odd excuses. I’m desperate to see my nan mostly and she says she really wants to meet my husband. I’ve mentioned this to him and he now has the excuse to say what about his nan. Before anyone jumps at me I’m always regularly visiting his nan and family, supporting them when they need help and being actively involved in his family affairs but I just feel like this one thing I’m asking for is something he’s not entertaining and it’s making me so sad to think he just doesn’t want to get involved with my family who he’s never even met so how could theymake him feel this way? Am I wrong in thinking he’s being an a*hole ? What should I do?

Is it the extended family or the actual country he has an issue with? Do you have family closer that he has meet?
If he refuses to go, go one your own. You're married, not joined at the hip.
How is he with your friends?

I’m thinking it’s a little of both. He has meet some of my family but they have come to him. I’ve already planned the trip with the flights and hotel I plan on catching/using so even if he didn’t want to go I’m still going! I think it just really irritates me in some way that he doesn’t want to go and it’s upsetting. I don’t know how to tell my nan if he still refuses. He will only be around my friends if there is a wedding or event we’ve had to rsvp to, but will sometimes mock at their behaviour on our way home so I know he’s not a fan of them either

Does he encourage you to see friends and family?
He's within his right to not social with them, but to mock them afterwards is unnecessary and is by extension mocking you for choosing to have such people as friends.
To refuse a one off trip seems strange. It's not like you're insisting he befriends them and sees them regularly.
Is it possible it's the change to routine that he finds difficult?

I'm trying desperately to find something here to stop me thinking 'controlling twat'

Does he have anxiety? My ex used to refuse to see my family or go to see friends because he wasn’t comfortable around anyone new

He’s never tried to stop me or tell me I can’t go out with friends and family, he would be very quickly put in his place if he even remotely tried.
I’ve even tried reasoning him on this trip and sais let’s just go for 2-3 days, meet them and then we can go on else where to another country close by (he’s been eyeing up a country close to where my extended family live and saying he’d like to go on holiday there). But he’s also having none of it. He’s very close to his mum so I’m also guessing that she may be having a few words in his ear to twist him otherwise.
It’s a shame really as my extended family live in a wonderful country, people are always happy and cheerful, weather is amazing! And every tother me I’ve visited before I knew him I’ve had nothing but happy memories!

And every **time I’ve visited before I knew him I’ve had nothing but happy memories!

I was always reluctant to go to my ex's birth country. There was a language barrier, and past experience meant I knew he'd not act as translator so I would be sat with an inane smile on my face.

I also worried that they wouldn't think I was good enough as his past girlfriends had been good looking and I'm somewhat plain.

Nothing to do with hating them.

You could outright ask him or say you feel he has an issue with your family....but if he says yes...what happens then?

Is he insecure or perhaps he is just anti-social or shy.

So you meet his family but he doesn't meet yours? & he mocked your friends behind their backs? Why doesn't The Big I Am mock them to their faces?

He is ignorant

In your shoes I'd stop going on about him meeting your family, and just go without him. After all he will only slyly mock them too and you'll feel worse about that. Why would you want them to meet someone so ill-mannered anyway?

He's not interested in your family so don't make it a conversation anymore. Just see them when you want to.

He doesn't have to try to stop you seeing friends/family directly, if he's making it awkward and difficult for you like this. It's quite insidious.

Be very firm about continuing to see your friends etc and don't let him badmouth them. Trying to isolate you is a red flag.