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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've married another abuser.

3 replies

Storm2018 · 17/06/2018 03:16

Like the title says I've married another abuser. This one is an emotional abuser and the truth is i suspected it before I got married but ignored the warning signs. It's a short marriage and it's consisted of him constantly threatening to divorce, storming off, attempts to control me and a cycle of complete withdrawal. There's been no affection at all for over a year.
Despite his threats he's still here and I don't think he intends going anywhere. I think he would like me on my knees sobbing. Not happening.

OP posts:
sofato5miles · 17/06/2018 03:17

Can you leave?

Storm2018 · 17/06/2018 03:37

Yes I can, but I have some practical things to do first. The usual house hunting and finding a job. I can't believe I've got myself into this position again.

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 17/06/2018 04:02

We tend to be attracted to the same type of man, even when we don't want to be. It's pretty subtle really. I went from one abuser to another, too. Took me 18 solid months of working with a counselor to recognize my own behaviors that attracted them and that blinded me to the signs that they were abusive.

Get out and see a counselor.

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