"Let's go for a drink"

[Dan89]

It seems going for a drink is the number one, no-pressure go-to for a first date. Men and women alike seem to anticipate that the initial 'feeling each other out' session is a lot simpler with a swig of Dutch courage.

However, I don't drink. I have a couple of compelling reasons for this that I prefer not to just blurt out as they are quite heavy. I have, though, thought that my teetotal-ness has held me back socially, and not least when trying to pursue something romantic.

What then, is a good alternative to going for a drink that both suggests romantic interest but in a similarly no-pressure environment. The best alternative I can think of is going for coffee, but coffee is always drunk during the day and thus without the evening lighting that can do so much to set the mood.

Is it weird to ask someone out for a drink, then stick on the lemon-and-lime all night?

Am I overthinking this all?

I think that's fine, quite an acid test actually, if they are funny about it then I wouldn't bother.

A drink can be non alcoholic. Drivers don't drink alcohol if out for the evening..it shouldn't equate to having a bad time. Go for it..what have you to lose?

Go for coffee or lunch?

You can still go for a drink. All pubs usually offer a 0% beer or cider such as becks blue, if you didn't want to go and sit have an orange juice then that's an option.

You surely don't have to have alcoholic drinks to keep up with someone else. You can still go out and stick to a non-alcoholic drink if you like. Getting tipsy on alcohol is not compulsory.
Also since this alcohol detail is important part of your life, it's an opportunity to get it out in the open. If the other person has an issue with it, it's better to know it at the beginning.

A pub that does coffee?!

It didn’t put me off. Don’t overthink it, it’s ok, lots of people don’t drink.
But be honest with your date.
Good luck.

I don't drink alcohol either, it's never been an issue on dates to have soft drinks. You don't need to go into it if you don't want to - if you feel you need to give a reason, you could just say that you aren't keen on the taste and leave it at that.

Pick a pub that you can't reach by public transport, which means that you have to drive and therefore have a reason to eschew alcohol without it being "a thing". That said, if a man is put off by your teetotalism, he's shallow and wrong for you. I understand why you possibly wouldn't want to raise the topic on a first date though, which is why I suggest a remote-ish pub.

I’ve been on dates in pubs and just had soft drinks or a tea because I’ve been driving. It’s never been awkward or an issue, I wouldn’t worry about it.

It's usually going for a drink because a pub is a neutral and safe place to meet a stranger in the evening. The drink is a prop really, to give you something to do, so it doesn't matter if it's alcoholic or otherwise.

Mine and dh's first date down the pub over half a shandy and a Diet Coke
Then coffee op

I don’t drink either. Never did.
Never stopped me from dating, or going for ‘drinks’, or clubbing, or anything really.
Coke, virgin cocktails, water - are all served at the places where other people consume alcohol.
And anyone who’d judge you for not drinking with them - isn’t going to be a good fit long term anyway.

loads of people don't drink.. you have options at the bar...

I agree, go and have a non alcoholic drink and if they tease you then you know instantly they're not for you.

On the flip side of that coin I have dated a man who did not drink at all, and to normalise that he made out that my having a glass of wine with dinner was half way down a slippery slope. I found that very irritating behaviour in him especially as I never mentioned his smoking. So. It is actually a good opportunity to see if he makes annoying comments about you not drinking to make himself feel better, and for him too!

Just go out. Have a water. Why do you think it matters? If it matters don’t go in the first place. Simples.

Go to a trendy bar that does lovely mocktails?

My first date with my dh was in a pub but we both stuck to soft drinks as we both drove. It was an amazing first date, not harmed at all by the lack of booze, and to be honest I went home feeling like I could trust my thoughts and feelings towards him because I was totally sober and not just drunk and lusting! I think we dated for a few weeks before we actually had an alcoholic drink together!

An enjoyable first date for me once was in the middle of the day along a local beach. We'd both driven there and parked up, we bought an ice-cream and went for a walk along the beach. No pressure and less intense than sitting opposite someone imo