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Original poster

I’m suspicious

22 replies

Evasworld · 16/06/2018 12:01

My husband is currently away on a boys holiday to Spain.

He phoned me to say he was out last night, but he couldn’t find anyone in the group, so he just hung about himself. Eventually he met up with a group of other guys he didn’t know, they went to a few pubs, but this group of guys got put out the pub as they were too drunk.

DH said he didn’t get home until 6am this morning. So now I’m thinking, if he want with anyone from his group, the guys he met up with got put out the pub and left so what did he do? Who was he with?
He certainly didn’t sound drunk when he called me. I don’t even know what time the pubs close where he is.

He has cheated on me before, about 10 years ago and I forgave him because we have kids, and he has genuinely worked really hard in our marriage. I wasn’t worried about him going away, but now I’m really suspicious.

I went really quiet on the phone and he kept asking me if he was okay, but I couldn’t really speak to him.

I don’t know what to think, and I certainly don’t want to ask him about it when he’s on the phone, but I keep thinking why wouldn’t he find the group he was with, why would he stay with people he didn’t know, and why would he be by himself??

OP posts:
Sunflower579 · 16/06/2018 15:51

You need to ask him these questions. Why couldn't he of phoned people from his group?, why didn't he go back to the hotel? Etc. It would be best to ask him in person, you know him so you'd know if he's lying to you or not. He could genuinely be telling the truth but your mind will not be put to rest until you speak to him and get the answers you need :)

Want2beme · 16/06/2018 17:45

Do you think he's told you this in case it gets back to you today that he wasn't with the group last night, therefore, raising your suspicions? It seems odd behaviour to hook up with complete strangers, when it's easy to find your own mates via mobiles.

yetmorecrap · 16/06/2018 17:52

I am also baffled why he told you all this, it's as if he is 'pre empting' something being said. Do you know the other guys partners etc??

SuperSuperSuper · 16/06/2018 22:46

I'm also wondering why he told you this. Getting his side of the story in first?

The tale would have been plausible back in the 1990s (I recall a couple of occasions during sixth form nights out when I ended up with group of schoolmates I hadn't started out with because I'd become separated from the original lot) but everyone has a mobile now and can be reached.

Gruffalina72 · 16/06/2018 22:52

It doesn't ring true. I think you need to trust your instincts.

PrizeOik · 16/06/2018 23:09

There's no point asking him anything as if he's got something to hide, he's working hard not to reveal it.

It does sound like he's getting his side in early.

There's not much you can do op. Just watch and wait. Keep cards close to chest and powder dry. The quieter and calmer you are, the more likely he is to panic, over explain, and thereby catch himself out.

boddtm · 17/06/2018 00:14

Imho Some people don't answer their phone after they've had a few so it's not necessarily true that he'd have been able to get hold
of them once separated.
I'd ask him what happened when he's in front of you at home. Should give you more of an idea ....

Gemini69 · 17/06/2018 00:32

bollocks.. so not one person in the group wondered where HE was ALL night.. and weren't concerned when HE never came back ALL night Hmm

I smell shite Flowers

User1011 · 17/06/2018 03:29

They are abroad, did they even have mobiles they could use?

DontDrinkDontSmoke · 17/06/2018 03:36

You can use mobiles abroad. It’s Spain, not the moon.

tabularasa35 · 17/06/2018 04:03

I am from Spain. Custom is to go out about 11pm or midnight, people will go back home between 4am and 6am or directly for breakfast. Pubs don't close early and they dont stop serving alcohol at a given time. So the party hours sound normal for a boys trip in Spain.

Regarding the phone call, I think that if he was with another woman, he would not be thinking of calling you, at least until the next day. If he was tipsy/drunk he would do things that dont make sense like calling you to say he lost his friends.

Original poster
Evasworld · 17/06/2018 08:23

Thank you everyone for replying. He comes home tomorrow so I will wait until then to ask him the questions I have. Any normal person would have called anyone from their group to find out where they are.

I know when he comes home and I do ask these questions he will wonder why, and I know he will start being annoyed and angry, then he will try to make me feel guilty by saying he will never go away with his friends again blah blah blah.

OP posts:
DrMorbius · 17/06/2018 08:28

This is not unlikely at all, in fact it's a scenario that happens a lot.
When you are out in noisey bars some people don't hear their phone. when you eventually get someone to pick up they invariably don't know where they are (the name of the bars). Then when they tell you, it's the banana bar or Dave's bar, although sounding unique the taxi driver has no clue. Some guys may realise you are not there, but will mostly assume it is by choice.

Why would he go back to the hotel? If he is out you, just chat to some other group(s) and carry on your night out, hoping to meet you mates at some point.

Shockers · 17/06/2018 08:35

Check his texts to his mates’ phones to see whether he tried to find the group.

RestingBitchFaced · 17/06/2018 08:41

He wasn't that drunk, plus he was on the phone to you! I can't see he's done anything wrong to be honest. You obviously don't trust him though

stevesmithsmum · 17/06/2018 08:49

There’s software to track mates (glimpse) or sending a pin with your location.

I’m not sure what he said was particularly suspicious on its own though.

Original poster
Evasworld · 17/06/2018 09:20

It might just be my mind going into overdrive who knows. I didn’t have any issues with him going away and I honestly didn’t think he would do anything when away, but it’s just with that phone call I started thinking things. It was when he told me the group of guys left and he just stayed out and kept drinking himself. That is totally out of character for him, that’s not something I’ve ever known him to do before especially at that time in the morning.

OP posts:
RestingBitchFaced · 17/06/2018 09:30

If he had anything to hide I don't think he would ring you and tell you that. He's on holiday, he doesn't want to go and sit in a hotel room on his own just because he's lost his friends.

Gemini69 · 17/06/2018 10:21

ass covering on a grade scale Hmm

User1011 · 17/06/2018 18:27

If I was on holiday and lost my friends then I’d stay out too, what’s he meant to do? Go back to his hotel and be bored?
Sounds a bit paranoid!

HungerOfThePine · 17/06/2018 18:50

Some Spanish countries I've been to the clubs were open until 4am and even later so its possible he had somewhere to go at those times but also in those places public transport came to a halt at 10-11pm so depending where he was or how difficult it was to get back to his accom then he had a couple options.

If he was hanging about he had time to sober up.
Tbf I don't disagree if your spider senses are tingling as he could be pre-emption you but then he didn't have to tell you anything at all.
See how he responds tomorrow but if you go in treating him like he is guilty of something then naturally he is going to be defensive.

Gemini69 · 17/06/2018 21:26

he's talking bollocks... Flowers

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