Does anyone else feel this about their OHs family?

[WS12]

So I just wondered if anyone else feels like this about their OHs family.

I don't particularly like my DHs family that much- they're ok. But a bit overpowering, and a bit odd. At times they're too much to deal with, and at other times they don't bother with us for ages. We live in my DHs country and at times I feel such a strong need to move back home just to get away from his family...

I remind myself that I am married to my DH and our little family and our DC are my priority. His family are just 'there' if you know what I mean, and I just have to be nice and get on with them. But they aren't my concern, my DC and DH are.

Does anyone else have to do this?

You can feel any thing about your dh's family as you like. You don't have to love them, you don't have to like them, although it helps if you do. You only need to be mutually respectful to each other's feelings and boundaries.
I'm sure you are not alone feeling the way you do about your dh's family. Other people must have felt similar about their in-laws like you do.

If you live in your dh's country that means you are in their culture, surrounded by their way of doing things. If its not a culture similar to the UK, if it's a culture where in-laws do interfere and influence, then it's a difficult life. No matter how much you think your dh's family are not your concern, they still influence your family unit with your dh and your dc. It's their territory and they are the majority and they may think you are the one to adapt and compromise as you chose to come and live in their natural habitat.
So either you need to learn to not be affected by them or take your own family unit and go to your own country (which means lots of effort to undo existing lifestyle and rebuild a new one and not guaranteed that your dh will be ready and willing).
A third option is to take your dh on board so he can educate his relatives about your expectations and everyone compromises a bit for better understanding.
Whatever you decide to do, the best thing is to find other expats from your home country to make friends with. It'll provide a good support system when you need to offload or any other time and will help put things in perspective for you. You need actual friends from your own country who live there. It'll make your life a lot easier I'm sure.

Yeah totally understand. Can't stand my OH family. Have to bite my tongue and play nice when the need arises but other than that I just focus on my son. His family have no time for our child, were only interested when pregnant and newborn but novelty wore off. Tbh though I would rather people like that not be in my child's life, so I try and look at it like that.
You don't have to like the in laws. They are not your concern ultimately.

Thank you for your replies 😘

@newuser2018 I totally hear you, that actually do children need these people in their lives? Nah, not really. We can see them and get along. But as long as my children have my and their my DH that's all that will ultimately matter.

I much preferred them coming over once a year, and being near my family. But I did what I thought my DH needed and tried a life in his country. I have a few friends now, most of who are actually from my country or different countries... we seem to gravitate to one another ha ha! Yea I think a good bit of offloading might do me well 👍