Relationship

[Conchina]

Somebody help me.

I met my partner long after he was divorced. He has 2 children from this rlationship. We now have a child of our own.

His relationship with his ex is terrible and I think they both use their children to get at each other. After a long court battle he has now got contact with his children.

The problem between us is when the kids come to ours for the weekend he does not want me to be a part of them. He will have me cook, clean and wash them but does not want me to have any opinions about their behaviour which includes breaking things in our home. His ex has made false allegations against me saying I have abused the children. When I was cleared of these allegations and asked him to challenge his ex, he said he would not. He told me that he only cares about having the kids and I should be able to cope with what happens to me. He said I knew he had kids so it comes with the territory.

Am I being unreasonable to think that he is unfair and he should respect me.

If I was you I would make my own plans for when his dc are there. .
He wants to parent them himself then let him. That means you don't shop /cook /skivvy after any of them.
Either he will realise you are a family and you become a team or you seriously ltb.

I'm really struggling to think of the advantages of being in a relationship with this man.

Agree with Cinchona. Go away for the weekend, visit your dp's, or just go out for the day. He can do the cooking, cleaning and washing - after all, you don't want the XP to be able to make her unpleasant and untrue allegations again, do you?

Sorry, I meant April

Thank you very much for this. I have started making plans for when they visit. It is also time to review the relationship.

He sounds vile.

This is not what a normal, healthy relationship should look like. Not even close.

He sounds really mean spirited...at the end of the day fair enough him not wanting you to parent his other kids BUT it is also your house so you should be aloud to have a say and he shouldn't let his ex come between you. I would LTB in that scenario

He is. He has no consideration for me. Even now his ex reports me to social services for all sorts of imagined wrongs. Social Services have stopped investigating because they see it is malicious. He says to me I shouldn't worry because nothing ever comes of it. I think mud sticks. I am a nurse myself and I worry for my job. He told me that he does not care what anybody does as long as he has the kids. He also allows his kids to make noise, run and scream. The neighbours have complained and I agree with them. He says I just dont want his kids to be happy. He will sacrifice anyone and anything for those kids and he wants the world to pray to them. He thinks the whole world should put them first and I am not exaggerating. I have suggested we go for counseling so we can create a happy home for all but he is reluctant.