Anyone had to ditch a friendship because of friend's controlling partner?

[Lottapianos]

Very long story but the shorter version is that friend and I have known each other for a long time. She got married about 10 years ago to a man who has recently shown his true colours. We (me, my DP and other mutual friends) have never liked him to put it mildly but played nice for friend's sake. She recognises that his behaviour (can't really give details, but controlling her and the kids) is unreasonable, but tolerates it. He has never liked me, it's been obvious from the start, and now I feel like he is dripping poison in her ear about me. She has confronted me with stuff about our friendship and I haven't felt like it's all coming entirely from her. I don't feel like our friendship can continue because I can't trust her judgement, I feel like he is turning her against me, and I have had enough controlling men in my life and really don't need another one. I also feel that things have cooled between us in recent years anyway, and that we haven't had a lot to say to each other, so it's not a friendship I will be pining for particularly but it still feels like a loss.

She is not in any physical danger as far as I can see, and has absolutely no intention of ending the marriage or anything like that. She said that she has felt torn between me and him for a long time I think my best option is to move on. I guess I'm asking if anyone has had a similar experience, how it felt for you and how it turned out? Thanks

I withdrew from a friendship like this although it did feel quite mutual - I think once she got the sense I felt a certain way about her partner, due to things she'd told me about his behaviour, it was hard for her to see me anymore. She was trying to put a brave face on things and act as though it was all ok.

She moved away with him and we didn't chat much for a long time. Now, a year or so after they split up, she's thinking of divorcing him and I offered to be a witness if need be.

I care about her, but I couldn't be a frequent friend to her during that time.

Thanks Super. I care about my friend too and I rue the day she set eyes on him. INA very weird way though,I think the dynamic in their relationship kind of works for her 🙄 she doesn't seem unhappy with him. I have lost respect for her over this if im honest.

It's since he started passing judgement on our friendship and my behaviour that I am thinking we just can't continue the friendship

walk away

Thanks Gemini. That's my feeling too. It's hard but seems like the better option in the circumstances