DH has never been great at looking after himself, smokes more than he admits (supposed to have given up), no exercise, all the wrong food, probably more alcohol than he should and as he progresses through middle age it's starting to show. He's fat and becoming less mobile with high blood pressure.
I struggle with the fact that he's unable to do things we used to enjoy and the prospect of retirement with an invalid husband in unappealing. If it was "just" that he was ill, I think I'd accept that and make the most of things, but some of this is self inflicted and he won't do any of the countless things that are recommended to help himself.
If he ended up really ill and in need of care, I genuinely don't know if I could do it without becoming really resentful. Obviously this all makes me sound awful and I don't know what the future holds, something could happen that makes me the one in need of care and I'd like to think he'd be there for me. Is it normal to feel so frustrated that he won't try to look after himself though? He takes an "it won't happen to me" view, but it already is.