When did you broach TTC

[nevergoner]

I'm in a fairly new but serious relationship, so not planning on this yet but the anniversary of the loss of my first child is coming up and it's got me thinking a bit.

When is a normal time to TTC/start talking about it?

My angel wasn't planned so have no experience. I guess I'd just like an idea in my head to keep me going.

We wanted to be married first so pretty much as soon as we were married we TTC. We'd been together for 7 years by then and had many discussions before then. Sorry for your loss :(

So sorry for your loss. I know that anniversary must be hard. The anniversary of my own loss was only made bearable because I got pregnant again very quickly and my ds had just been born, which helped heal a lot. I think it’s so hard to say what might be normal. My dh and I certainly talked about babies from very early on (6 months or so of dating?). But we maybe actually talked about concrete plans and set a date a bit over 3 years and a few months after we got married. We started trying and Dd was conceived about 3.5 years after we got together.

@workinprogressmum @mindutopia

Thank you that's partly what's so difficult, I've not been able to focus on TTCing again and I don't know when I will be able to. That's why I wanted to know when others have talked about it or started trying even just to have a vague timeline in my head. I know it'll likely turn out differently, but not having any idea at all is terrifying. I just want to be a mum again I have no other DC.

Sorry for your loss. Perhaps you could talk to Sands?

I think you need to take it slowly in the relationship, especially when you're feeling quite driven by grief. Unless it's the baby you want and the relationship isn't important except as a means to that end.

@category12

Definitely still taking it slowly, I just want something to look forward to I guess. Even if it doesn't pan out exactly by that timeline, it's just that having no timeline at all is making me feel worse. So it's just another way to cope if anything. Plus, should things continue to go well it's information that I'll find useful one day. I don't think it's fair to blame my grief, of course I want another child.

That's actually really hurt me, I'm really upset at the thought anyone could think I don't care about my relationship. I'm with someone who has been unbelievably supportive, someone who I love. God forbid that the anniversary of my baby's death has me thinking of the future.

We’d been together about 6 years & thankfully it happened quickly. Had the conversation in February & first was born in November. This was years ago mind

I'm sorry, when you said "to keep you going", it sounded like you're struggling a lot with it. I phrased it really badly.

We spoke about children hypothetically from about a year in (but were both early twenties when we met).

We’re recently married and have started discussing it more seriously. I’m late twenties, him early thirties and I think the priority now is us getting a house and me completing at least one year in my new job. We’ll probably start TTC towards the end of 2019.

I suplose it depends what type of relationship it is have you even spoken about children marriage etc.
Does he have children, does he wantchildren? How long have you been together.
Sorry for your loss op, anniversaries are tough.