When do you sleep together ?

[rockstarchick]

So is there a certain amount of time?!

Have had 3 dates but spaced over 3 weeks coz of work and childcare commitments

Date 4 is at his house
He's cooking dinner and said
You're welcome to stay, if you are comfortable to and if not that's fine then made a comment about he knows I want to take it slow as have said that all along

But would this weekend be too too ?! I'm so out of touch

If you're comfortable with it, screw what anyone else thinks! I don't think there is a set time.

Exactly! As long as you’re comfortable and feel safe then do whatever you want

Whatever youre comfortable with. Ive never made it past a first date I dont think (unless it wasnt on the cards anyway). See how you feel at the time.

Whenever you both want and feel comfortable with.

he is pulling the classic move..come ill cook for you..let me feed you my meat. then the lights will be off.. youll find yourself in his bed and he will start the sexy panther routine.

there are no rules. make up your own

I admit I took a risk and slept with my fiancé on the first date. It felt right and if things had felt wrong I would not have done it. Proved to be good we are engaged! But it’s down to whether you feel comfortable enough to!

Do whatever makes you happy OP!

I think asking you to stay over is at least opening up the possibility that it might happen, but sounds like he also is clued in that you might not be ready yet. I think that’s a perfectly fine time if you do want to, but it’s also okay not to yet obviously as well, even if you stay over. I have from the third date when I was dating still, but equally waited and it was just as fine. My dh and I actually were technically dating for a week, seeing each other and staying over in the same bed for a week before we even kissed! Which even I think is weird and I’m not sure why other than I think we were both just nervous and getting our heads around how we actually felt about each other. We were together nearly every night but didn’t have sex for about a month. So there’s no one right speed for everyone.

Just pack a pair of knickers and a tooth brush in the bottom of your bag and make a decision at time.

Decide at the time if you want to have sex with him.

My friend slept over at her partners house long before she slept with him (tmi if they did other stuff) so there's that option too.

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks is right or wrong

"Let me feed you my meat" hahahaha!!
I'm in stitches.

Lol that cracked me up!!!

Ok so honestly, for some reason I want to stay but I don't want to have sex. Not yet. The last few dates have been great and the last one we got close and kissed but I just want to have a few more dates like that ! So I'm looking forward to staying and having a kiss and cuddle etc but I don't want him thinking I'm a tease or something or leading him on by staying?

Yes I suppose it might happen lol but I just want to take it slow

X

oh that's really sweet, do you really like him?

Whenever I wanted to. Which varied from dating for months and never having sex(breaking up too) to on the first night/date.

I think go with how you feel. In my relationship, we had 3 dates then he came to mine for dinner and I said he could stay either in spare room or my bed but I wasn't quite ready to have sex. We had 2 nights (a week apart) of sleeping together but no sex, fully PJ'd just kissing and cuddling and it was really lovely. Then did sexual things but not all the way on the 6th date then sex after that.

It was about 6 weeks in that we had sex and felt about right in terms of timing but everyone is different and there's no right or wrong answer. We still talk about the nights of sleeping together with no sex though - it was lovely with the anticipation and just really enjoying getting to know each other. It was also noted by me that i just said ONE time that I wasn't ready to have sex and he didn't push it even the tiniest bit. I know it shouldn't be anything special but I knew that some men would have tried at least a little gentle persuasion.

If I were you, I'd say you'd love to stay but won't be ready to have sex yet and you are happy to go home if he'd rather. Then see what he says - it's his choice then after all. It's not being a tease to state up front what you're willing to do.

Raspberry yes that's exactly how I want it to be! Yeah I kind of have implied I wasn't ready and he did say he could take me home if I wanted to rather than staying Which I thought was sweet.
I suppose I'm worried that things may change on the night as in he will try something but I'll be more disappointed that he wasn't respecting me rather than not being bold enough to say no !
I think because we've spoken so much and I think I know him, it would be a shame for him to think I was wanting sex
I've just had bad experiences
My last long term boyfriend would get huffy if we didn't have sex and the guy I was seeing briefly after we split, I said I was no way ready and he lured me into being ' just a friend ' then within 2 weeks became jealous and controlling, didn't like me wearing revealing clothes ( we slept together on the 1st night dispite telling him I wasn't ready - I did stay over but when we got into bed he was all over me and one thing led to another
So just trying to be careful I guess

Im so excited about seeing him again ! X

Being really excited to see him is a good sign!

I think just don't do anything you don't want to. It's perfectly reasonable to state upfront what you want and you shouldn't ever have to feel pressured into sex. I've had dealings with similar pressuring type men too . If you're worried in any way, just head home and have a few more dates without staying over.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with having sex at any point that you feel happy to and I have had sex early on at times - I don't think how long you wait really has an impact on whether or not things will work out.

Good luck! x

I tend to have sex as soon as I want to, which is usually the first date. I think it would be a bit odd to stay over just for ‘cuddles’, I think there would be a lot of potential for miscommunication, so I wouldn't.

Oh really? We've spoken about it tonight and feel better

Well not just cuddling, like other stuff just maybe not full on sex

Maybe I'm strange lol

I'll be updating on here Sunday saying we had sex more than likely lol! X

3rd date here, been together 20 years, but did know him 6 months prior to dating.

Wouldn't you prefer to go home at the end of the evening if you're not ready for sex yet? It's a great time, early in the relationship, just snogging, if there's no pressure.

I don't think you should stay in that case, since you've been bullied sexually by the last two guys. So book a late taxi and have the kisses and cuddles and suchlike, and don't end up doing more than you want to sooner than you intend, just go home.