arrghh.. dunno what to do

[SuGaRCoAteDPoiSOn]

my ex of 3 years has just contacted me to say that he loves me, wants us to put the past in the past and be together.

The reason we broke up last time was because I'd have had to move to the States which is where he now lives and I didn't want to.. I still don't particularly want to but.. he was the great love of my life and I still think about him often.

I've got a new partner now, my kids wont want to go and it would create chaos.. but at the same time.. I want him...

Someone give me a shake and knock some sense into me please

who is the kids dad?

not the ex and not the current

Well what would be best for the children? If they are settled and happy here then it would be selfish to uproute them for something which failed for a reason, if you really wanted to stay with this man you would have gone or he would have stayed.

i do sympathise, you poor thing. Is there no chance he could come over here?

Your ex knows how to play you doesn't he, all he has to do is contact you and you fall for it. He's taking you for a fool and he's just telling you all that you want to hear.

Presumably this man has a current partner; I am certain she would not be too thrilled to know that he has been in contact with an ex.

What in heavens name do you still want him for?. So that you can still try and rescue and or save him from his own demons?. I ask this as some women in your situation can think that their ex can somehow change for the better under their good influence.

Short answer to that is that is not possible.

Also ex's are ex's often for good reason. Take the rose tinted glasses of nostalgia off.

Work on your relationship with your man and ensure your ex cannot contact you any more.

time does put a rose tinted glow over everything

so

just don't go there plus he may have changed in 3 years, and not for the better!

You're all absolutely right, I've no idea if he's got a new partner or not, not spoken to him in over a year and the only reason we broke up is because I didn't want to go and live in Texas and he couldn't stay here.

I've not replied to his email and I've changed phone numbers and things ages ago. I know it's stupid but my heart is going like the clappers, lol

Smack me some more please

SMACK SMACK!

Dont dwell on the whats ifs, move on. as others have said he knows how to play you and you have a partner.

cx

You're all absolutely right.. I came home last night and gave my partner a big cuddle and put the ex out of my mind

The breakup with the ex was similar to the situation Lou33 is having, so it wasn't nasty or for bad reasons and I think that's why I got all stirred up, cos all I have are good memories.

Anyway, I'm staying put and not responding to him.

Thanks for the slaps and the common sense all of you

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