When did you 'know'?

[oakleywhite]

When did you know your OH was the one?
When did you know they were the one you would be with forever and have kids?

I have been with my OH for 14 months. We are both nearly thirty and have been living together for over 6 months. We talk about marriage and kids a lot and know we both want it. We know each other's families and have been on a few holidays.

I am soo soo broody, he is too. I feel like the time is right but slightly confusing concerned of my conservative mum's reaction!!

Just wondering your thoughts/ experiences

We knew very quickly. So we got married, and then had children.

I think DH and I knew after about 2 weeks!

From our first date we saw each other every day (DH did shift work at the time so some days we would just meet for breakfast, some days just an hour or so in the evening).

He proposed about a month after meeting and we got married 5 months after meeting. We didn't live together first

We have been very happily married for almost 40 years We haven't got children though which I think makes a difference (most of our divorced friends and family say having children started the problems in their marriage)

I don't agree with getting married for protection either. I marked for love, not for financial security. That's not a good reason to marry.

It is a very good reason if you're planning to have children. Particularly if one of you takes a career break to be at home with the dc. Why wouldn't you want to give your partner that security? I don't see the romance in being up shit creek without a paddle with your dc if your partner were to die suddenly or the relationship broke down. (Things like, if you're unmarried and your partner died, you'd only be able to access half the money in joint accounts and the partner's half would be part of their estate, whereas married you'd have full access. And so it goes on).

In the words of the great Nicki Minaj "Ain't pushing out his babies till he buy the rock."

I'm not sure I ever really knew, more than just hoped fervently that it would be OK. I know now though after being married 14 years and 2 children and I'm delighted we're together.

However, I'm equally delighted we got married before having children. Regardless of the legal protection, we got to do a backpacking 5 week honeymoon which would definitely not happen with kids in tow!

Thanks for all your replies 😊 I know people think it's stupid to consider a baby before marriage, I'm just considering my options as my ovaries are fit to burst!! X

Yes, but that's just your lizard-brain biological desire to reproduce. It doesn't make wise decisions, it just wants babies babies babies, it doesn't care about your longterm goals in life.

You're not having a baby though, you are raising a child to adulthood. And that's different. They need housing and security and stuff. Which means DM needs to protect herself legally from the drop off in income that happens to women during their childbearing years.

You're talking about becoming a parent, not just having a little baby to love.

6 months is no time. I would set a date, and have some time together before TTC. However rosy things are now, a baby puts a lot of strain on a relationship.
At 29 you have time on your side.
Another vote for marriage before children.

And another one - get married first! Seriously, it's by far the most effective way to protect yourself if you take time out to raise a child. If you are committed enough to have children, marriage should be no big deal.

To answer your question and not bring children/marriage into the equation. I knew at 3 months DH was "the one". Cannot quantify it. There have been some serious ups and downs but it's the closest I am ever going to get at live at first sight and 24 years later it holds true. He drives me bonkers but I am glad to wake up with him every morning