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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Just bad luck??

13 replies

Horsesforcourses23 · 12/06/2018 20:22

Ok, I'm new to this but posted recently and got loads of useful advice so I'm here again about something totally different, but honestly I'm getting a bit disheartened.

I've been single quite along time, and I've had a rough few years with things going on. I had a few dates with one guy but it never went anywhere which is fine because it didn't feel right.

However I'm starting to seriously think it's me. I was asked out last year by a guy who I liked, that kept cancelling, re-arranging and then it never happened. Then I was totally love bombed by a guy who then totally ghosted me, that was pretty rubbish. I've had two more people text and arrange dates to then cancel and never re-arrange.

I've checked things I've sent, I'm not overly keen via text or anything like that. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong :-(

I know there are serious problems on here and my post is basically irrelevant but honestly I just feel a bit shit really and upset that I'm taking this all so personally...

OP posts:

Sally2791 · 12/06/2018 20:30

I think OLD is such a mean world. Many heartless players. Is there another way you could meet people, through sport or hobby?

Original poster

Horsesforcourses23 · 12/06/2018 20:35

Sorry what does OLD mean?

In re to hobbies, I'm a bit stuck, I work full time, have a part time job, look after my nephew half the week and go to college. I've been trying to go to the gym when I can, and I'm trying to go out as often as I can. So it's a bit hard but I do try and I'm trying to keep the faith but I'm wondering if I just maybe pick the wrong ones, or maybe it is something I do...

I dunno I feel so pathetic posting this especially when people have actual problems just feeling a bit fed up I think

OP posts:

category12 · 12/06/2018 20:39

Crikey, could you even fit in having a boyfriend with all that going on?

Original poster

Horsesforcourses23 · 12/06/2018 20:44

I know that's what everyone says, but some of my friends think that's why people aren't interested in me because of all the "stuff" but I've got it under control and I don't want to be alone forever because I was "busy" do you know what I mean?

OP posts:

category12 · 12/06/2018 21:00

OLD = online dating.

It sounds like you're meeting men alright, but not the right one yet. If it's online dating you're doing, I think there's a lot of sorting the wheat from the chaff with it, and ghosting/ducking out of meets is quite common?

Original poster

Horsesforcourses23 · 12/06/2018 21:14

Oh thank you! Yes some of it has been OLD and other times it's people I've known... It's just confusing. Think I just feel a bit fed up tonight. Thank you for your kind words

OP posts:

SingleDingle · 12/06/2018 21:20

Eh, sorry to be nosy, but how do you fit all that in?? Why do you have your nephew half the week? I mean it’s really nice that you do, but hopefully not to the detriment of your own social life, etc? How long will that be in place?

Original poster

Horsesforcourses23 · 12/06/2018 21:35

My sister in an alcoholic and he lived with me for quite a while and its kinda just ended up staying as a kind of shared custody agreement, does that make sense? and I don't have any parents to help me, I have grandparents but my gran has Alzhiemers and I have to help out my granddad and stuff. I do manage it all and I'm not a martyr or anything I'm just busy...

OP posts:

Original poster

Horsesforcourses23 · 12/06/2018 21:36

Bloody hell, reading it back sounds like a right sob story and that's really not how I meant it at all, I can cope with it all and stuff. I'm just a bit lonely and basically just want a nice night out with a handsome man ha ha ha

OP posts:

category12 · 12/06/2018 21:38

It doesn't sound like a sob-story but you do have absolutely tons on your plate. Hats off to you.

SingleDingle · 12/06/2018 21:44

No sob story, I did ask! Anyway, sounds like any man would be lucky to have you. I hope you find someone who deserves you!

Original poster

Horsesforcourses23 · 12/06/2018 21:49

You're all very lovely thank you for letting me rant ☺

OP posts:

Takinrujomu · 12/06/2018 22:01

Online dating is a bit of a hit and miss. I understand exactly how you feel as I went through the same experience. Guys arranging dates and then cancelling.. I even went on a date with a guy I had met online and we "clicked" or I thought we clicked and next day he says he is going back to his ex who had heard about his wonderful date! I was devastated as even though we had only had one date we had been communicating and I felt good about him. The point is, please don't despair. Online dating takes a lot of patience. It's definitely nothing you are doing wrong.
All the best x

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