Do I stop contact between my father and my children?

[Motherofboys19]

Hi all,
I was brought up by my father from a very young age and was emotionally abused on a daily basis, occasionally physical. He was a nasty drunk and would drink regularly. He also brainwashed me against my mother saying that she didn't want me and lots of other horrible stuff. As I reached my twentys I realised what was going on and distanced myself from him and eventually we became estranged. I have three children aged 9,7 and 5 with my ex partner and they still had contact with my father through my ex. My issue is that on numerous occasions the children have come home after spending time with him and told me that he has been saying very horrible things about me to them. I asked my ex to only allow supervised visits between my father and the children because I was concerned for their wellbeing. My father was also caught drink driving and when he got his licence back I asked my ex not to let the children in the car with him alone for obvious reasons. My ex has ignored all of this and I now I'm unsure of what to do. My ex and I already have a child arrangements order in place for when my ex has the children, which he doesn't stick to. I could go back to court and amend the order to say that there is no contact between my father and the children, but my concern is that even though I have genuine concerns about their wellbeing they enjoy spending time with their grandad. I don't want to upset them but I feel the risks to their emotianal wellbeing are very real. It has taken me a long time to get over what my father did to me and I don't want the same to happen to my children. I also don't want to upset my children. Any advice would be gratefully received. Thanks

Spending time with an alcoholic who bad mouths their mother is not good for children.

Yes oh course. Especially if you think he may be driving them drunk. My grandparents used to do something similar to me, it was horrible.

Your Ex seems as bad as your dad tbh. If he was a half decent dad he would stop taking them to your dad...but their clearly two of a kind.

I would contact a family lawyer for advice. Another possibility is the safeguarding department in.your local authority.

Thanks everyone, sometimes you doubt you're doing the right thing even though it seems obvious. Both my ex and father were very controlling so they have kind of teamed up. The child arrangements order came about because my ex took me to court to try and get the kids and the house. He made false alligations and my father also wrote a statement to the court saying I was abusing the children (this was shortly after I cut all contact with my father) . It was all rubbish and got thrown out of court but my solicitor suggested we turn it around and get a concrete contact structure in place. He followed it for about 4 months and now sees them every other weekend, no holidays. When he does have them someone else is usually looking after them. It's really difficult to reason with someone like that. I think ultimately the only way it can go is back to court.