When do u know it's over ? Feeling so guilty

[Fedup84]

NC for this , been on Mumsnet for years and always get comforting and supportive advice....
My story , married to a man of different background , been together 16 years , we have children. His Cultral background looking back has always caused some conflict in our relationship. they are quite strict cathilics etc. However he was charming in the beginning , bought me gifts, helped around the house , used to take me out etc of course that changed with children as things do. However he has become so overly critical over the years, critisizes how I do things , times me when I go out , he even moaned because I fell asleep on the sofa till 2 am deposited him being in a different room to me now for 6 months. I like to have a drink socially and chill out a bit at the weekend he used to drink with me but is now tee total so of course I must follow suit as drink is the devil 🙄.
He is convinced I'm seeing someone else because I'm spending less time at home and at my mum's . He says I don't clean or cook or pay for bills , bills are split plus I buy dc everything they need deposited him earning more . He is obsessed with turning all the plug sockets off cause he pays the electric yet will balst the heating on cause I pay the gas🙄 just a few years examples.

Roll on to now I've asked him to leave I can't live like this anymore I'm a paranoid anxious wreck I'm now on sertraline for waking up with panic attacks . He has taken photos of me naked to control me into not going out with friends as look at the state of me .

However I feel incredibly guilty about asking him to leave 😑 I can't get over this guilt . I feel like such a nasty person .please help me 🙄

It sounds like you're exhausted OP - far from being a nasty person. Just someone fed up with their current situation (Don't blame you) It sound like hes pretty controlling.

The guilt is more likely fear over what comes after but is it really worth continuing with?

Also, sharing your pictures is a criminal offence and you could prosecute him (If you're in the UK).

Yes in the UK, he is acting like the poor little boy with puppy eyes , I know he wants me to beg him out of his room back into the marital bed but not this time , he isn't affectionate and for years of I did setting wrong he would threaten to leave

You are doing the right thing.
He is controlling and abusive and you need to end this.
Get him out of your house.
Please also speak to Womens Aid and call 101.
Tell the police about the blackmail with the naked photo's.
That is now a criminal offence and he can be done for it.
Tell him that next time he threatens it.

Talk to your mum about all of this and your friends and make this real.
This needs to be over and soon!
You cannot live like this.
And neither can your poor DC.
It's a horrible example to set them for a relationship model and a male role model.
Show them that it's not OK and you will NOT put up with it!

Thank you for your advise. he ripped up wedding album in front of the kids saying that I have a new bf, my 12 year old was in tears. He blames me says I'm an alcoholic and won't cope to look after kids on my own , he even told the local council they advised him to speak to ss