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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I don’t know if I’ll ever trust my girlfriend again.

4 replies

Sallyjunior · 12/06/2018 00:58

Me and my girlfriend have been going out for just over a year now. In September time last year she had told me that her ex girlfriend wanted to get back with her and started fancying her again. I don’t know if she said anything to her but she is still with me so obviously she must have said something like I have a girlfriend. I got annoyed now and immediately didn’t like her ex girlfriend, and also I met the ex girlfriend before and she was really nice to me then she’s trying to interrupt. Now I was kind of anxious that my girlfriend would be meeting up with her ex on the side and before In previous relationships she wasn’t loyal but there were not as serious as our relationship. I told her how I felt about her ex girlfriend and she kept saying nothing is going on and I’m not meeting up with her and I told her that I don’t want her to meet her incase she tries to do something with my girlfriend. The ex girlfriend kept saying she wanted to go round her house and I didn’t have to know. Then I started to get over it around February time, then in April I saw a text on her phone from the ex and I was curious as to what they could be talking about and my girlfriend was asking to meet her and begging basically saying “please, please” and I was thinking what the heck, because I told her I don’t trust the ex and she still kept asking and then she told me she did meet her to go shopping and it made me lose trust because I told her not to do something which she said was fine and she went and did it anyway. Now I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust my girlfriend again and if I’ll ever feel happy like we were before. I don’t know if I should break up with her to save myself from getting hurt or to stay with her because she hasn’t actually done anything that bad as far as I know. I’m just confused and don’t know what to do.

OP posts:
Disquieted1 · 12/06/2018 01:11

Your post is a mess. I've read it three times and this is my understanding:

Your girlfriend's ex got in touch with her
You asked that they not meet up
Your girlfriend begged her ex to meet up
They met up and went shopping
You're not sure if you can trust her.

If this understanding is correct, then you can't trust her. If my OH "begged" to meet up with an ex then did so and "went shopping" our relationship would be in peril, to say the least.

In the nicest possible way, how old are you? Do you have too much invested at a young age?

Sammyham · 12/06/2018 01:37

End the relationship, neither of you sound mature enough for one.

AndTheBandPlayedOn · 12/06/2018 02:42

Go with your gut. If your gut says you can’t trust her, then that is probably right. You don’t need exhaustive proof or to even be able to put into words the unfolding dynamic to justify a decision to break up.

trojanpony · 12/06/2018 14:25

I’d end it, the trust is gone

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