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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I feel blue

2 replies

Idontcareifmondaysblue · 11/06/2018 20:18

I try to stay pretty upbeat generally but today I feel really blue :(

In the last 12 months the following things have happened:

  • I got disowned by my family for finally speaking up about the years of abuse I suffered in childhood. They spread rumours that I was having a mental breakdown and didn't know truth from reality, even though I had proof of what had happened.
  • I reported a historic sexual assault to the police. Their response was to not investigate it properly, essentially tell me it was my own fault then when I complained pretended that they had done things that they hadn't. I am now having my complaint re-investigated. I've had 8 months of hell with this while the person who assaulted me had a quick interview and was let off without charge 4 weeks later.
  • One of my closest friends disclosed that she is in a DV relationship. He rapes her every night. She won't leave him.
  • Another close friend had a heart attack at the weekend and now won't be able to go back to the job they love.
  • My other very close and most local friend has had a financial crisis and her and the family will be relocating to Europe within the next few weeks for DH's work. She is one of my main emotional and practical supports. Our DC are best friends. They'll be gone by the end of summer.
  • My oldest and best friend is trapped in a marriage she wants to leave but can't because he has threatened to take the DC off her and - unlike most wankers who threaten this - he has the means to do this as he is a barrister with lots of Family Law Barrister friends.

I am so sick and tired and fed up of everything being absolutely shit for me and everybody I love.

OP posts:
AdaArdor · 11/06/2018 20:41

I didn't want to read and run. I'm so sorry. This all sounds absolutely awful and you have every reason to feel blue. Were you working with a therapist for your historic abuse? I wonder if you have someone you can offload to about all of this, someone who can listen to you and hear what you have to say. You deserve that.

You have amazing strength to do what you are doing regarding your abuser, especially given your family's reaction. I hope you have some friends to support you through this. You should be so proud of yourself, seriously.

In the short term, big portion of your favourite pick me up food and a comedy film/TV? I know it sounds flippant but sometimes just forcing a smile makes you feel a tiny bit better.

Lots of everything for you FlowersCakeWineFlowers

Idontcareifmondaysblue · 11/06/2018 20:53

Thank you Ada,

That makes me feel better, genuinely.

I've been in therapy for 2 years and it does help a lot.

The police investigation isn't about my childhood abuser. Just some 'mate' who took advantage of me when I was vulnerable in my 20s.

I'll never report my childhood abuser now, given how this investigation has gone.

Thank you for your kind words, though.

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