Driving myself insane

[Delta456]

I’m good friends with a guy from work, he is in a long term relationship as am I (due to get married next year). We’ve gotten to know each other really well, Iv had a ‘crush’ on him for several months but never acted on it. Last week we admitted to each other that we really like one another and that we made each other days at work bearable and more enjoyable and admitted there is sexual tension between us but we would never act on it. We both said we couldn’t wait to get into work today to see each other and it was praying on our minds all weekend, we just couldn’t stop thinking about each other and we both feel an insane amount of guilt but also lust. We go on all of our breaks together and just want to be in each other’s company, we can’t escape each other as we work in the same office! I’m racked with guilt but can’t help myself at the same time. Has anyone experienced this?! What did you do?!

Please. If you have any decency stop this immediately leave your OH

Do you have children? I hope not.

Apologies I am not the best person to post at the moment. But just dont. Please.

You are now firmly in the emotional affair arena! Next step is the we couldn't stop ourselves full blown sexual affair.
Do the decent thing. Stop pretending you can't help yourself bollocks and walk away. And job hunt asap.
Or split with your partners and take a risk.

Find a new job or call off your wedding.

You have already crossed a huge line by admitting feelings and going out of your way to spend time together. Make a decision, him or your fiance, and follow through on that. Any other decision is a recipe for disaster and pain.

Be a grown up! You either both tell your partners what has happened so far or you stop your friendship immediately.

I understand how your feeling, I have been in a similar position myself. It took a while to realise what was actually happening. I thought we were just friends and then as time went on I found myself always texting him after a bad day and he would often call me after long hours operating (he’s a surgeon) I have a partner of almost 10 years but He was single. It wasn’t until working a night shift and he was there and kissed me in our staff room that I realised what it had turned into. I’m not going to lie I didn’t pull away I let him kiss me but after we sat down and I had a long chat with him. I basically said that I had these feelings but I wasn’t willing to give up on a 10 year relationship just to see how it goes with him. At that point I ended all non professional contact with him, we talk at work but only about work things now. I told my partner about it obviously he was upset but he was happy I’d been truthful and not tried to cover it up.
Be honest with yourself what do you want? Who do you want? you and this guy need to decide if your going to be together or not, if not then you have to end whatever this is for everyone’s sake.
Good luck xx

You can help yourself. You can be professional and avoid being alone with him, go on break with other people and stop making a show of yourselves (other people at the office will start picking up on it, if they haven't already). You'll be a joke at work.

Or ditch your fiance and ask him to do the same.