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Original poster

Thinking of Divorce. Who will get DD?

10 replies

JK123 · 21/05/2007 22:36

In heated arguments, my husband has often said he would would fight for custody of our daughter and would make sure I would have nothing to do with her. As a mother, do I automatically get my daughter and then have her father see her at the weekends?

OP posts:
pinballwizard · 21/05/2007 22:41

you are encouraged to make the best provision for the child hopefully by agreement

the presumption is in the child's interests taking into account the current arrangments as to who is the main carer

in practice that is generally the mother but lots of peoiple share residence and the age of the child may make a difference

Hilllary · 21/05/2007 22:53

How old is yoru dd?

Original poster
JK123 · 21/05/2007 22:55

DD is coming up to 1 yr. I'm a stay-at-home mum while husband has a full time job.

OP posts:
Hilllary · 21/05/2007 22:56

Oh you would most certainly get residency of her, are you breast feeding?

Original poster
JK123 · 21/05/2007 22:58

Glad to hear that I would get residency. No I am not breatsfeeding. I suppose if I were that would help my case?

OP posts:
Hathor · 21/05/2007 23:13

Which would not be the best reason to start bf.

Hilllary · 24/05/2007 07:39

Yes KJ123 it would help if you were brestfeeding as you have to be there for her 24/7. She is only a year old, she is a baby and very much needs her mummy, ok they need their daddy too (well so people say) but their role doesnt come in for a little while yet. Its like taking any pup or kitten away from their mum too early. In a few years then yes you many have problems but right now.. NO.

NotQuiteCockney · 24/05/2007 07:41

I thought a stay-at-home parent (nearly) automatically got custody?

fillyjonk · 24/05/2007 07:45

oh god what a horrible situation

can i be VERY patronising and say that IME relationships often go through VERY sticky patches while babies are dependant. We have found it is the first 18m-2 years, really, because before that ours don't sleep reliably and we are a. tired (we are both HORRIBLE, and touchy when tired) and b. don't get much time togther. BUT that passes

Don't know a vast amount, but based just on couples I've seen go through divorce, agree the defualt would be that you'd get residency-he'd have to prove that you were unfit, and it'd take a fair bit to do this, more than a bit of pnd or anything.

SSSandy2 · 24/05/2007 08:07

on what grounds does he think he will be able to get custody of her? Highly unlikely I'd say unless he could prove you are drug-dependent or something and dd would be at some kind of risk in your care. Not that I'm an expert, mind you. Thing is, you're available to look after dd, he isn't because he's at work so he can only get her from you if he has some criticism of you he can base it on - and even then I don't think he has much chance of success.

I think if divorce is likely, you need to be very careful, a bit clever and be prepared. I would endeavour to find professionals (paediatricians, health care visitors, etc) and establish good relations so they will be able to give a positive view of your parenting in case he's going to be throwing wild accusations about later. I would also get some good legal advice. If you don't have your own money, I would ask your parents to pay for that.

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