**triger** for those who reported abusive exs please help me out here *Trigger warning

[looondonn]

hello all

so went to police
been abused by ex pretty much full time throughout a 16 month relationship
last incident he tried to strangle me to death

need to go back to station to speak to a specialised dv female office
policeman i spoke to reckons the abuse c**t will only get a non mol order
how can this be fair? doubtful he will have to do any time in jail etc???

please please help me with this
how did it go for those of you brave enough to share or even give me some tips on how to deal with the aftermath of abuse and the trauma

thank you

Sorry to hear you’re going through this loondonn. I reported my abusive Ex to the police when he’d smashed my face and it was a community order not jail, even though it was not his first conviction. It’s utterly disproportionate and enraging, I know. However a non mol at this stage is a really good thing, it protects you and gives you space to sort yourself and any DCs out. I didn’t get one at the time and doing it later whilst coping with ongoing harassment is horrible. I’m not an expert and I didn’t handle my situation brilliantly so I hope you will get other answers. But fwiw I would advise getting the non mol, getting counselling ASAP, the police should refer you and ask if they don’t mention it. Take time for your recovery. Good luck

Thank you so so much

It is utterly humiliating

I really appreciate you sharing your story

Sadly I can now see why so many woman suffer in silence

I will kick up such a fuss about this
He did some horrific things
Also threatened to kill my father and sister

And now he will get off lightly

Disgrace

I am tempted to go the media and highlight so many failings in our system
Fwiw I work as a professional with young people who have witnessed DV and the effects it has on their lives is astonishing

My abusive ex only got a harassment warning and a non mol. He then started court proceedings to get 50:50 custody of our breast fed 18 month old and 2 year old. And got it. The injustice and continued fuckwittery is death by a thousand cuts.

Thank you for replies

I will kick such a fuss up over this

Where is the justice in this sad world

Mine got 4 years in prison after trying to set me alight, he'd covered me in alcohol, had a knife to my throat and then tried electrocuting me in the bath he'd filled with wires. All because I said it was over and I was leaving. Honestly? It's one of the hardest things I've ever been through when I reported it and went through court, it went through a trial. He was also very sexually abusive. I gave evidence via video link as I couldn't be in the same room as the bastard. I had to do it though because he almost left my two children without a Mother. I felt I owed it to other women that might suffer at his hands.
It will be difficult OP however I obtained a restraining order for life and for that I'm thankful.
You can always PM if there's anything you'd like to ask.
You've done great OP. Keep going. xx

So brave looselip I am so sorry to hear this

He has a conviction for attempting to strangle ex wife and abused me for well over year. During pregnancy also and while baby was in crib by the bed

I will go further about this for the sake of all the innocent woman and kinds who are subject to this hell

Good for you. You can do this. You won't regret going through with it no matter what happens. Stay strong.

Thank you!!!

Oh my love you are so brave. I got out, but didn't press charges. Now, 30 plus years on, I'm finally having councelling and I wish, oh how I wish I'd reported him( them)

If you can, do it now. It gets so much harder as each year goes by,!
.
Huge hugs XXX

In my experience they give out shitty sentences.

The only benefit for me was when he took me for contact CAFCASS and the Judge wiped the floor with him and he is only allowed a birthday card yearly to DD.