I’m breaking up with DP, it’s been quite a heartbreaking split. We have two kids together, one with special needs. I’m utterly torn.
I moved to DPs hometown when we married, and our teenage and young son are settled in schools here. DP is a good father, and handling our special needs child is stressful so it’s great he’s around. Although he works long hours so during the week I’m basically on my own. I stupidly let DP put off marrying me with excuses and yes, the family home is solely in his name. 
I was foolish and did not protect myself, and it’s too late to change that now. The family home is big, airy and I love it.
I’m desperate to move back to where I’m from, which is city based, with my family. But it means wrenching the kids away from their father and their schools, our home.
I’ve beeen trying to stay and make it work here. DP has unfortunately talked me down to his family, saying some really not nice things. They all live near, I bump into them and they won’t even say hello to me. They still like seeing my sons with my DP, who goes to them every weekend, but have never offered me support with my special needs child, not even an hour off. DP says I’m controlling and his family say I need therapy. His friends say that I dont allow him friends and he often says he has none. Those friends are young woman and DP would meet them for lunches, but refuse to meet me for lunch as we lived together so what was the point he said. So everyone who knows him thinks I’m awful. I never stop him seeing anyone.
I’m financially totally dependent on DP, who says that I can stay in the family home with rent taken out of maintenance, but when it comes to it is very reluctant to move out. He alternates between saying he doesnt love me, and our relationship does not work, to saying that we are ‘crazy’ but that he really does love me. It’s a cycle. He cheated for a few years but mostly online messaging. I found out and he stopped, but the insecurity is still there because he is very ambiguous about whether he wants the relationship to work. We went to counselling where she pointed out his vagueness as key. He’s quite seductive and I feel trapped.
I feel like I might be stuck forever in this cycle if I stay. I don’t know how to emotionally and financially start again here, it’s a rural place with few options. I used to have a good job although realistically I’ll have trouble working more than part time with my son. If I leave I’d be bringing up a child with special needs on my own for my lifetime. And possibly caring for my mother too. DP has said that he won’t stop me moving away, however I think it’s like moving out, he says he will but I don’t really think he wants me gone at all. I have absolutely no one here I can turn to all my friends are the other side of the country.
Dilemma!