Do your friends have children that ruin your friendship with them? Any advice for me please

[cheesestring]

I don't know where to start on this.
I have changed my name because I suspect that my friend comes on here. I don;t think I have seen her post but she may lurk.

My friend and I were really good friends for a long time. She has been so good to me and helped me through some major hard times.

Her children I think are the bigest problem for me as when they come around they are so rude and they get every toy out, distroy our things ( this is on purpose too, I can't go into detail otherwise it will give it away). She sees the mess and broken things and never offer to help to tidy up or say sorry. they seem to think it is a musing. I told the daughter off last time we were together as I do everytime we are together and she grits her teeth at me and says " right can I go now". Ten minutes after the daughter is asking for food and when mum says no she says " Get it now". She then asked me and her mum said ok she can have some cake can't you princess.This child is only 5.

This is really coming between us.
Any advice?

See your friend term time between 9-3 or in an evening with the help of babysitters.

If she is a good friend aside from her parenting 'style' then see her only as an adult company type friend instead. Would this work???

lend her your parenting books!

a friend who is really 'gelled with' was dropped by me because of 'over competative mother syndrome;

does that count.......

I have a friend whose child is a tearawy. So I just visit her now and get in a visit before she manages to mine. And now I let ds do whatever he wnats in her house like she used to let hers do in mine!

Put her off when she offers to visit then offer to call in the next day etc.

I would be tempted to meet elsewhere whenever poss...not so bad now weather better, meet at parks/playgyms etc, to lessen the stress of your house being wrecked, and give you all a bit of space. But agree with Kaysamuels, would aim to meet as adults more often, to keep your friendship positive!
Good luck!
x

The last time I babysat and had her children at mine they were screaming at our pets and the little girl was kicking my dog and laughing her head off.
My children were even pleading with them to behave.
I really have never meet children like them in my life. I adore children who are a little bit naughty/ cheeky please don't get me wrong . I find these children nasty and spiteful.
I think I need to stay away for a bit and cool of first then and then go out without the children. Thing is we have always socialised as two families and it is sad to stop.

I differ parenting style very much with a good friend. Her children a execeptionally well behaved, never argue always do as they are asked (most of the time)they are quiet peaceful, but like to earwig! our adult conversation. In a way they are so controlled you dont know where the parent ends and the child begins (iykwim)
It used to upset me that they seemed so supressed and had little 'fun' (messing about daft/ stuff)
But we parent differently, thats all, its no big deal. If there is a problem I usually say oh we dont do that in our house or our house rules are... we compromise about things then go home.
Ultimately its your home and if you wouldnt accept that behaviour from your child gently let her know..Oh, you mean please can i have a piece of cake?

I do do this most of the time Doris but I am very aware that my friend crys at their behaviour and hates being a mum most of the time. I don't want to make her feel miserable.

I know what you are saying is right though. I am just feeling now that I am coiming close to not being polite at all.It almost fels like they bring them around nd just relax and let me run around telling them off.

Her husband dosen't like to tell the children off because he works.

It sounds like you are being put on cheesy. There are agencies that can help...is it home start?