I found out about 6 months ago that hubby had been seeing others.
I started getting suspicious as we started spending time with sister and her hubby going out for meals and drinks now our children are older.
I noticed on few occasions that he seemed to follow my sister outside when she was going for a cigarette (He doesn't smoke). But the final straw was when we went out for a meal and he sat their opposite me and next to her and had his had running up and down her leg and again followed her outside when having a smoke.
He always took his phobe everywhere even to the toilet. I sat and watched to see what pin number he was using on his laptop and phone.
My chance to see his phobe came when we stopped in a hotel before going to a concert we were in a bar and phones were charging in the rooms, he asked me to go and get them which I did and tried the pin. I found image of someone, messages on Facebook messenger to my sister saying how she makes him feel and he can't wait see her again and that they need get time alone and I remember our conversation last night etc.
I also found messages from a woman saying they had good time and about meeting again and how she makes him feel.
One as mortified but had go back down and try and put a brave face on, till I could sort it in my head. This took a few months.
I found more stuff on pc, adultworks lots of messages and ask in for meets but also few regulars, this has been going on for years. Emails not just women but also men
I confronted my sister on the way to work one day and she denied everything, she hadn't come on to him and nothing has happened and she says she told him to stop messaging and delete them. I don't believe it, she says he hubby knows( but they both have had affairs before and are open that they have not had sex for few yrs)
I tried to speak to him about it but he doesn't open up and doesn't talk, I gave him the decision of keep doing as he had or keeping me and our marriage. He wanted the marriage but still couldn't speak to me about it and brushes under carpet. He is not well and at present can't do anything in bedroom and waiting for opp. But after opp if all goes well, will he carry on as before? I know he still is looking at adult work, UK escorting and uk punting sites as well as porn. As I have seen history on his pc when not deleted it. I never get chance to see phone but his contract he has cancelled now as he has a work mobile but that is only accessible via fingerprint so I have no chance to see.
Yes are marriage had gone stale in the bedroom Nd had been for few yrs, but that wasn't that I didn't want to, just thought he didn't.
We got back on track with our sex life around the time we started going out with sister and her hubby. I know that the sat we my sister took us out for my birthday meal my hubby had worked in the morning but also he had been to see one of these prostitutes off adultworks before he came home and we went out.
I have no one to talk to about this, it's eating me up. I can't speak to family obviously as someone in the family was involved somehow.
I wouldn't mind but I was married before and my first hubby cheated on me with my friend and my now hubby knows all this and said he would never hurt me like that. Well he has even more so.
Sorry for the long post