How to choose a good counsellor?

[HostaToFortune]

There’s a choice of Relate and a couple of private counsellors locally. They seem to be BACP (is that right?) members. I can’t exactly ask friends for recommendations. Should I (I would say we, but it’ll no doubt be me...) just look at their profiles and pick one?

To be honest it probably depends on the reason for needing the counselling.

Don't just go with the first you try. Meet with several, find out how they work, what their background is, what areas they specialise in, how much experience and expertise they have in the area you're concerned about, etc and see how comfortable you feel and whether they're the right fit.

Any reputable professional would expect you to do this. It's not overly sensible to just pick one and launch straight into sessions with them.

Crikey. How are you supposed to do all that when you need a babysitter in the first place to even get out of the house together?! I suppose we (I ) could do it by phone somehow out of the earshot of the children.

May I ask what the reasons are for needing counselling?. I ask this because if there is abuse of any type within your relationship, joint counselling is never recommended.

Re your comment:-
"Should I (I would say we, but it’ll no doubt be me...) just look at their profiles and pick one?"

Have you been the main instigator re counselling anyway?.

I would second Attila on that. It would be a dangerous path to go down in those circumstances.

There’s no abuse. DH and I are both struggling for different reasons and things aren’t right between us at the moment. I raised the idea of counselling and he says he’s willing but is not likely to take the first steps to arrange it. He’s had CBT for anxiety before and says he found it helpful so I’m more hopeful than I would once have been about him participating fully.

Take your time in choosing the 'right' one. But this can be difficult if you are feeling very stressed I have to admit.

I was looking at BACP counsellors online recently. Some of the photos
(grinning inanely) and self-descriptions / introductions were awful IMO!

Talk to all of them over the phone. Have questions ready. Go with your gut. The single most important factor in whether counselling is successful is not the qualifications of the counsellor, or their experience, or their methodology. It’s the rapport between client and counsellor.