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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Separation chat

2 replies

Shakeyitoff · 10/06/2018 23:22

After a good few years of soul searching I’ve finally drummed up the courage to tell DH that I think we’re over. I have agreed to relationship counselling but I’m pretty sure my mind is made up. He was lovely asked what he needed to change to make me love him again. TBH there are things in the past that he did that were pretty shitty and I didn’t identify them at the time, just felt like my feelings and opinion were irrelevant to what he wanted to do. I think it’s just mounted into big resentment and I can’t let it go even though he is now more supportive since I’ve had mental health problems.

TBH I think they’re in part due to my dithering. I thought I would feel relieved to have finally told him but I feel nothing. Not really asking for advice, just want to write this down. I’m in the spare room for the foreseeable from tonight. I don’t think he really feels like it’s going to happen and I suppose I can’t draw a line under it until the counselling is over. I think I probably going through the motions to be able to tell family that we gave counselling a go. Maybe I’m wrong and and it’ll work a miracle.. goodnight all.

OP posts:
SuperSuperSuper · 11/06/2018 17:15

Hi OP. HOpefully, counselling will unravel a few things for you both, and you'll be able to make an informed decision and separate amicably if necessary.

Don't worry about what other people will think. If you feel that counselling is truly pointless after a couple of sessions, then cease. It's not your job to reassure your family about any split. It's your job to take care of yourself (and any dependent kids you have, of course).

lifebegins50 · 11/06/2018 17:34

Resentment is a relationship killer.Divorce isn't easy, especially if there are dc so I think its worth knowing you tried e everything before leaving.Then you can feel confident in your decision and able to stand up to family if needed.

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