He wouldn't?

[Hidingfromhim]

Hi everyone, just looking for a little reassurance please and I realise that this probably sounds a little crazy.

Have been involved with a guy for around a year, not always great but today things have come to a head. He has said some very derogatory things to and about me, and his general character has completely changed to quite aggressive. He has never physically hurt me however emotionally he has.

I am worried that he is going to turn up and do something to me, although this worry is unfounded realistically. Please can someone give me a hand hold and reassure me that it is highly unlikely? He is in the police which is another reason I think this unlikely, however there's just something in the back of my mind niggling.

TIA

Listen to that 'niggle' it doesn't matter who he works for , an abusive man is an abusive man . Look after yourself .

Listen to your instincts here. Even if he is not physically abusive, do you want to spend you time with someone who hurts you emotionally?

You need to be able to trust your OH 100%

Sorry to not provide the reassurance you were hoping for.

Thank you for your replies. Just to be 100% clear, I have absolutely no interest in continuing this, my worry is he will turn up uninvited and aggressive.

I will be on my own tonight, however all of the blinds are closed in the property and I'm going to try and get an early bed.

If he turns up and won't leave , call the police .

Thanks Oddcat, I certainly will. He would lose his job/get suspended which is why I think it is unlikely but nothing is impossible I guess.

Definitely call police if he turns up and you are worried, Take care!

Don't risk it , lock the doors and don't answer if he does call round.

That's exactly what would happen to him. The police are very interested in it when one of their own is causing bother (speaking from sad experience about 13/14 years ago). I wouldn't hesitate to contact them if you have genuine concerns. Be aware that you might end his career if you call it wrong. Sounds like you need to get shot of him though.

Doors locked, blinds closed, it's warm tonight but I'm going to close my bedroom window when I go to sleep as well.

I have a big day tomorrow and could do without this stress tonight!

mybaby yes not going to contact them unless he turns up uninvited. I am scared, however I'm not going down the revenge route as I'm not up for tit for tat.

I'd love to block him on everything, however don't want to do that in case it aggregates the situation any more.

I think you're just going to have to wait this one out. I am seething for you that you're feeling intimidated.

Yes there is not a lot more I can do at the moment unfortunately. There has just been such a marked change in his personality and it is worrying me what he is capable of. These are the people who are supposed to be protecting us!

Trust your instincts. You're afraid for a reason.

Hope you get an uneventful night's sleep. And that it stays that way.

Take care.

Not to frighten you, but I’ve dated a few coppers at various points in my life (used to work in a field that brought me into contact with them often). I had strange experiences with all of them. One sexually assaulted me after I asked him to leave my house because he was so drunk, he mistook my housemate for me, and lunged at her. I didn’t report it, for a variety of reasons- but he was a nasty piece of work.

I’m in no way saying that ALL police officers are dangerous/violent - but one of them (ex murder squad, then moved into organised crime) did once say to me that he thought that being in close proximity to criminals/ violence / v dark stuff all the time, made police officers a bit “dark” themselves. A theory borne out in my limited experience.

Be careful.

Appreciate the heads up, thesheep.

I will try to relax, although I sleep very lightly so don't imagine I will get a huge amount tonight.

Be careful @hiding ... and in the event this does become “a thing”, log EVERYTHING. Don’t delete anything, and if you can film/ audio record or photograph anything that might happen, safely, you’ll be glad of it down the line.

Best of luck

Yes I still have all of the messages and everything, thankfully it was on one that saves everything rather than Snapchat.

Strangely relieved that I have reason never to talk to him again, although do panic every time I hear a car passing my window.

I think the thing that initially set it off was me saying I wasn't going to do whatever just cause he wants it (pictures/sexually).

Do you have neighbour or friends close by who are aware of the situation? He sounds horrid.

Lollypop unfortunately I don't, I am quite new to the area and don't know my neighbours. I have told a friend who said just let her know if anything happens and her OH will come round, however they are 20 mins away on foot. Taxis should be quite quick on a Sunday though I imagine if needed.

Hope you had an uneventful night Op.

Yes, uneventful night thankfully...settling in for another now.