Do I have a problem or him?

[Mummyanne]

Me and my bf have been together 3 years and have an almost two year old together we lost our place some time ago back in September I stayed with my parents with was obviously never gonna work and went to find a place at homeless. We lived together for a year and bit before that.

We're planning to move to Spain but it's taken agessssssssss and still no progress has really been made. I'm really struggling on my own especially with my anxiety and depression and ocd causing intrusive thoughts I just need him there. We've just had an argument because he won't come and stay at mine tonight as I stayed with his parents last night but it was late when we got here and he's been ignoring me and on his phone all day.

I've told him I'm in pain and super anxious and need him tonight but he won't stay as he wants to watch his crappy E3 thing (something to do with beloved his beloved Xbox) which he could watch at Mine, when I've told him how I feel he keeps saying stop playing the same record and stuff. I said I dunno whether I can do this anymore. I feel so left out with him like second best.

Is it me just feeling like this or do I have a right to be mad with him. (He works full time but only 1 min away from me and I'm a full time mummy for our daughter which he thinks is easy work)

You have had so much advice on this op.

It's extremely obvious this guy doesn't give a fuck about you. Like - he has CLEARLY shown you over a LONG period of time that he isn't interested in your happiness or well being and would prefer not to be around you.

Please stop contacting him and focus on building up your own life without him. Get professional help if you can.

@PrizeOik
I think he cares but he's not good at showing it, o have my issues I'm super clingy and stubborn and start a lot of arguments but I have never felt accepted as I wasn't close to my parents so maybe it's just me

I am a other one who has posted loads before. This man does not want to be with you. Pl go back and read all the fab advice you were given previously. I am amazed, given what you have said before that you think he cares but just can't show it. You have no evidence of this and have come back today to share another example of how much he really doesn't care! I am not going to post again because it help to allow yoh to continue in your fantasy of a happy ever after. Look after yourself and your baby.

Cant believe your actually moving with tbh.
You've had loads of advice. Its never going to work

It's like. After we finished arguing we spoke for a little while and I got upset and he was the nicest person ever supporting and loving me how can I break up with him when he's so sweet like that. I got loads of advice but I just can't see it

Well it sounds like you know best so get on with it, I suppose.

His words might be sweet, but his actions are anything but! You seem determined to run off to a different country with a man who doesn't support you, ignores you and treats you badly.

You can see 'it' but are determined to push ahead ignoring not just the advice here, but your own anger and instincts.

He's not going to change when you get to Spain. If you ever get there. Seems like the no progress is him dangling a carrot to keep you in line while he continues to act like a single man who doesn't care about you or your dc. Presuming he's not paying maintenance because he needs to save for 'spain'?

How can you break up with someone who plays with your emotions after he's brought you back in line by "arguing" with you? Really?

You're focusing on the wrong part of that scenario. The "arguing" followed by emotional manipulation is the reason you need him out of your life.

He doesn't love you. He sounds like a bastard. You can love him as much as you want and dream of him changing, but that won't make it happen.

I can't understand why you'd want to go and live in a foreign country away from all your support networks with someone who treats you like shit.

OP the fact that so many posters recognise you from the user name and what you post (Spain really stood out for me) means you really dont see it - you do have a problem - him and the way he treats you

You're incredibly young. You can have a better, more fulfilling life for you and your child, but to do that you need to be able to accept the advice you've been getting. Seems pretty consistent to me.

Nobody is 100% awful 100% of the time. That is not a good reason to stay with someone who treats you like shit on a regular basis and clearly couldn't care less.

At some point you will have to accept that. It's hard and that's understandable, but if you ultimately want your life to get better, you probably need to make accepting that your first goal. The rest can only follow from there.

Unless you want to spend the next 70 years feeling like this and dealing with all this rubbish? Do you want your child growing up to think it's normal to let people treat you this way?

EVERYTHING Shiny wrote ^^

Ask yourself this: If he loves you then why the fuck are you writing this and feeling so upset again?
There’s your answer.

Please stop wasting your life on a person who will just use you up and spit you out. If you think it’s bad now then you are in for a shock as these sorts of characters never change. Every year you stay is another licence you issue for the next one to be just that bit worse.

Crack on by yourself. For you and your child.