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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

End of he relationship, things turning sour, advice please

2 replies

Changingoftheguard · 10/06/2018 15:07

I recently wrote about my partner leaving, we have 2 young children.

I explained how I have my faults and things I had said and just gave a bit of back round but things are turning sour.

We've now had a disagreement where he stormed off, told me how I had someone who loved me and blew it. We were talking about the situation and I explained to him as I had done many times during the relationship, that I didn't feel I was getting any support. I was left and still am, to do everything. I don't just get to walk away from my responsibilities.

He flipped, he's not violent so it wasn't like that but he just lost it and now I feel we are back to square one.

He said how he wishes he could have the dc full time but he cant because he works full time (I'm on mat leave, due to start a full time uni course) and I explained that I am going to have to do it!

I just feel we are back to square one and things are turning nasty, I don't know what to do. I was feeling so much better and now I feel lost and so so hurt. How someone who once loved you and you still love, can treat you so cold and be so hurtful.

I can absolutely see his point of view and I make that clear if we ever talk, he just cannot see mine at all, its really frustrating. I understand how tiring and awful it is going to work in a job you hate, this is why he had the sleep in, had his fave tea cooked for coming home and all the usual things we are just expected to do.

He cannot see mine about the times I was exhausted and asking for help which I never got, I was struggling. He thinks being on mat leave with 2 young dc whilst going back into education and looking after everyone baring myself is just a breeze. I would have fought tooth and nail to keep the family together but he gave up, just like that, when the going really got tough.

I'm finding it hard to get my head around the fact he cant see where I'm coming on. I don't know where to go from here, he hates me I can see it in him but I have to put on a brave face, be fair and kind when inside I'm heartbroken and grieving for the family, just like I have been but its getting harder, especially after this.

OP posts:
Pixikitten0123 · 10/06/2018 15:56

I feel your pain as I’m going through a messy divorce. I’ve figured that at some point it’ll work itself out once everyone is done being angry. Things seem to be a rollercoaster of high and low emotions which is completely normal. Everyone makes mistakes as they’re only human.

Changingoftheguard · 10/06/2018 16:53

He doesn't seem to understand that I'm allowed to feel all these things and if anything its normal too. I keep telling myself that it will all work out, its just when he says things like I'll never meet anyone like him I really question myself as a person, hes making out like I've done something terrible.

Really sorry to hear your going through similar, it really is tough! Were all just humans with emotions trying to make the best out of a bad situation but when emotions are involved its hard. I hope it gets better for you soon I really do.

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