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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

help!! sleeping witht thw enemy

8 replies

hallmark · 21/05/2007 20:27

after much deliberation on his part dh has finally agreed to give me his home address!!
the kids stayed there last night. my eldest daughter has just disclosed that she has met the other women (or so i assumme) she says she is younger and prettier than me with blonder hair. what worries me is my daughter also said that in the night she got into bed with daddy and nan was sleeping with him. now his mum did stay over but they are not that close. what do i do?
further more my dh told me today he was filing for divorce on accoount of my unreasonable behaviour. he has been having an affair for ages but i have neither the proof nor resources to persuit this, what shall i do?????

OP posts:
bubblymummy · 21/05/2007 20:59

Oh

How old is dd?

In relation to the divorce depending on how long you've been seperated the fact that your dd has met the other woman means that you can possibly countersue him.

If he expects to see dd, you should have the address and the phone number. All sounds a bit secretive.

Can you not get legal aid.

Nan - no idea what to say.

thefuturesbright · 21/05/2007 22:32

Him citing you for unreasonable behaviour may be a bitter pill to swallow but it's quick, and countersueing may end up costing you time and money. If you do go the adultery route you don't need to prove it unless he denies it - you just say roughly when and where and don't even have to name the person he was with, he just says 'yes it happened' and that's it. But if he denies it again you get into a pointless expensive squabble.

Dh and nan - weird. Could there be a different explanation? or are you seriously suggesting incest?

smalltowngirl · 22/05/2007 21:23

Do you mean that you think it was the girfriend in bed with him and nan was in another room, or do you think it was nan

Original poster
hallmark · 23/05/2007 09:54

sorry wasnt clear in my first post a little upset. i think that dh was sleeping with his girlfriend as my daughter climbed in and when she asked who it was dh lied and said nan. my daughter is only 5 and would believe this especially as nan was also staying at the house

OP posts:
hayes · 23/05/2007 09:56

I think just let him divorce you for unreasonable behaviour, stuff everything else, you will be well shot of him

Original poster
hallmark · 23/05/2007 09:57

if i agreed to divorce on the grounds of my unreasonable behaviour would it have any bearing on the future, with regard to custody of the children and things?
currently i am primary carer of the girls and dh has not said he intends to change this. but he is sneeky and i dont want to agree to the divorce and then him take the kids from me as well

OP posts:
Original poster
hallmark · 23/05/2007 09:57

thanks hayes

OP posts:
macdoodle · 23/05/2007 11:01

Don't let him divorce you happened to a friend of mine he was having affair but accused her of "unreasonable" behaviour she agreed for quickie and got screwed....speak to your solicitor!

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