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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice needed

2 replies

Notsleptin2wholegoddamnyears · 10/06/2018 07:22

Firstly I’d like to thank all the lovely mumsnetters for the kind words and support, it really does help!
I have very recently ended a very unhappy relationship and we have a 2.5yr old son together. It is only the second day his father hasn’t been here, things are quite smooth at the minute as ex is still coming over in the afternoons and continuing with the bedtime routines so the only thing that is different to our son is that his father isn’t here in the morning.
I have just been telling my son that his father is working or he is out, basically just saying he isn’t here and you will see him later. He doesn’t need to know anything else, I don’t want him burdened with our problems.
Am I doing the right thing? Or should I be explaining that daddy doesn’t live here anymore?
His dad does not have anywhere to stay at present and is staying at a friends so the option for the LO to stay with him is not yet there. Although the relationship between him and his dad is not the best so I think it will take time with him staying out with his dad etc but obviously something I want to encourage.
From people who have been through a separation with young kids, am I doing the right thing just playing everything down? Keeping the LO distracted etc?

OP posts:
earlybyrd · 10/06/2018 07:49

I think because of your LO age you can do this in stages - gradually reducing the bedtimes until just with you etc, it must be a strain for you having him there so much

Notsleptin2wholegoddamnyears · 10/06/2018 08:58

Yes, I’m not going to lie it’s tough. I don’t want my ex around so frequently, I’m just still figuring out how to deal with the situation and want to make transition as smooth as possible for the LO.

OP posts:
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