Hi so this is the first time I’m talking about this publicly. Growing up I had many girls but never had sex. My high school sweetheart and I were on and offf in school but when she graduated we got back together. This November we will be together 10 years. I am planning a purposing in September on a family trip to Seattle. We were virgins until three years ago. It was great we used condoms and pulled out be we weren’t getting anywhere close to having kids. Well I was a strong rock then. But lately my mind has been getting filled with thoughts off the possibility of having kids and I loose the girth and sometimes the whole thing. These thoughts of possible having children when we’re arent married and when I’m not ready financially. We recently just started not pulling out with the condom. FEELS GREAT!!! It feeling so connected. We after that first time my mind goes other directions and I can no longer get off inside. Because my mind. What can I do. I can get stoned and seems to help but I don’t want that to be the only way I can perform. What can I dooo