Blocking People / Deleting People from Your Life

[Serendipite]

I've been battling the demon of memories of someone I had a fling with ten years ago.

Recently I blocked him on my phone/social media. He contacts me from time to time, most probably to stroke his ego.

Everytime I talked to him, I initially felt like I could handle it. After we talk I end up obsessing over him.

Today I am tempted to unblock him.

Have you done this and was this successful in making you get over the person?

Why would you unblock him? It sounds like whatever you had is over and you know that rekindling it would not be a good thing to do.

yes. For 15 years I obsessively did this. And one day, one day, I just realised that there were days when he did not pass my mind.

I think we do things out of curiosity, and boredom. I knew I was obsessive about him, so used to move to another country and stalk him over the internet than rather live in the same town. If it never comes to anything and always feels disappointing then I think it won't change.

I was fed every line under the sun, he had a tough career etc, but in the end he married his cleaner, Svetlana. I Would suggest when you think about him, think about something else. He is a fantasy in your mind, not a real person. The real one is disappointing. Your mind is a box of chemicals and nerves. We can be in the driving sense of our thoughts and not let them control us. In the end I used to think about him as i loved to do that, day dream. but It didn't make me happier, and ultimately envoked feelings of loss. Beware of your thought paths being etched on your brain everytime you think of him.

I guess everytime he contacted me I was getting a hit - sort of like a high. And then I crash.

I think it’s the only way forward - block and move on

I can relate to exactly what you're saying, OP. I too had a thing with an ex where every so often he'd pop back into my life, whether initiated by him or me, I'd get on this massive high and then come crashing down again. The only advice I can give is to be really disciplined with yourself, not just with contact but even more importantly, with how much you allow them to occupy your thoughts. Every time a thought of them comes to mind consciously tell yourself not to go there. It takes discipline and you will regress but you have to keep at it. I also found it helpful to keep a running list of why it won't go anywhere for those moments when you find yourself weakening.

Why would you unblock him?

Sometimes I get tempted because I miss the "hit" or the "high" that I get. But then I know it will end up in a crash.

Totally get this and for me I was more concerned about me trying to contact him and did not want him to get satisfaction from the fact that he’d bothered me so much that I had to block him! To be honest the only reason why these guys get in touch is for ego boost anyway so why stroke it any further!... if he never contacted me again then that was even better!

I deleted his number in my situation and did not look back. Kept going through in my mind why he would not work for me because seriously he would not!

Eventually there is a turning point and you literally don’t care. I’m there now and well over.

Understand. Some people are harder to get over than others. My H has flip flopped back and forth getting my hopes up for reconciliation, but all it does is hurt me. Block him and resist the urge to contact him and eventually he won't cross your mind.