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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Instagram concerns

8 replies

Ryder63 · 09/06/2018 12:04

I'm not on Instagram, so seeking opinions! My friend saw her DP's Instagram account, and noticed he was following a new account. The profile has a head/shoulders (dressed) shot of a woman, and reads "username, city, single, likes nights out and fun, life is for living!" the account is private - but has over 600 followers, and follows over 400 (hope that makes sense!).
My friend is worried about this - but doesn't want to ask her DP about it, as she was being nosy/snooping a little. She doesn't recognise this woman, and is concerned about the wording of the profile and the amount of followers, and wonders if this is a flirting, sexual kind of account? Views please! we both also wonder how he found this particular account - he hasn't mentioned knowing or meeting this woman - not a work colleague - my friend has met these.
Instagrammers opinions on this, please!

OP posts:

LetMeGo66 · 09/06/2018 12:18

I’d follow the account myself so I could see what the content is. Then she can decide for herself. Does sound a bit disrespectful tbh if it’s full of naked pics

Original poster

Ryder63 · 09/06/2018 12:24

LetMeGo66 I did suggest this - but my mate doesn't want to do this, in case her DP sees it. She also said if she's refused access as she's clearly female (if it is a hook -up type of account), she'll feel more worried! - how do men find these accounts?

OP posts:

FuckPants · 09/06/2018 12:30

Why is your 'friend' jumping to conclusions so easily? Does her husband have a history of being a dick?

SoapOnARoap · 09/06/2018 12:31

Your friend sounds like a paranoid twat.

Are people really this needy & controlling?

Wtfisthis11 · 09/06/2018 12:34

I don't know much about how IG works so ignore me if this isn't possible but could she make a new, fake account in a male name to follow this person? Or, I do actually have an account on there (joined but don't use) in a very ambiguous name and with no photo so I could follow and report back if that's any help?

NinaCopita · 09/06/2018 12:56

Oh for goodness sake just ask him!

' Hi DP, I noticed you followed so and so on Instagram. Do you mind me asking who it is?'

I asked my DP this question once and turned out it was his mate's girlfriend. He's asked me the same too. No accusations, no worries, just honesty.

If you can't ask your partner this simple question and would rather sit there stewing and worrying about there being more to it then your friend has bigger issues!

Original poster

Ryder63 · 09/06/2018 13:03

I wouldn't describe her as paranoid or controlling, however I can see this may construed as such.
Thank you, Wtfis11 I'll put your suggestions to her

OP posts:

RainySeptember · 09/06/2018 14:42

I'm as needy and insecure as they come and even I know that the object of insta is to acquire followers. I get requests from people I barely know, and sometimes complete strangers, every day. This woman could well just be a friend of a friend, sister of a work colleague, anyone really. She's probably approached him first because she's someone who is proactive on there. He'll see her photos, that's all, there doesn't have to be any interaction between them at all.

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