Am I reading too much into this?

[secondguessing2018]

NC for this as some previous posts have been outing and I am not sure this is something i want to share with 'the world' yet.

So, recently i have noticed that DH is deleting whatsapp messages from just one person. We always share each others passwords, electronic devices and phones and he is occasionally too lazy to type up messages and emails for himself so will ask me to do so which is how i noticed. As far as i know the person messaging is a colleague from work who is married. DH shares a hobby with her DP as far as I know and the three of them have been out together for that once or twice in the past. When messages come in from her and i am around they are usually something harmless along the lines of when he will next be in at work (she is static whereas he moves around for work).

To give some context - my DH and I have what I always assumed to be an incrediby strong relationship, share everything, and even after many years together are still very into each other. He has on each and every job always been incredibly friendly with all his female colleagues - be they 18 or 80 and he is an incredibly protective person. His behaviour to me has not changed and I just feel stupid for being paranoid but why delete the messages from only her if this is harmless?

As you have a strong relationship, could you ask him about it?

How do you know all this? (as in who it is).

I would probably ask him too.

Thanks guys. I guess I will have to ask him, it is just difficult as I am now second guessing myself all the time. If he is the man i thought he was he will tell me its nothing to worry about. If he isnt, he would say the same thing, wouldnt he? Unfortunately my anxiety is kicking off and even though my gut says its nothing and I know him so well, I cant stop doubting myself...

In regards to how I know, DH does share a lot from work so even though I havent met everyone I do know who he is talking about. DH also showed me pictures of the three of them after they had been out for their hobby.

I'd ask him. If what he's saying makes sense then fine, if it doesn't then here's more to it

You're gonna have to ask him outright or wait and keep watching. Not much else you can do.

He might say it's nothing to worry about, but he will have to give some reason for deleting just those messages, so you'll be able to judge whether it's a plausible reason or not.

Sounds like taking up' the hobby 'would be a plan...

Are you sure he's not deleting them because he keeps getting that 'Storage nearly full' message on WhatsApp? I'm a bit thick and thinking it meant that the WhatsApp app only allowed a certain amount of messages? Not sure of the technical stuff?

Thanks for the support guys. I will try and ask him - not sure if i can work up the courage today though. He is at work at the moment and we have a family day out planned tomorrow so will try and get through that first before possibly souring the mood. I will keep you all posted.

FWB - I wish, but why only delete the messages from that one person and nobody else?

Sorry Op but deleting messages from one person is a bit dodgy if you ask me .

You will be able to retrieve those messages if you can get hold of his phone. Personally, I would want to see them rather than just believe he happened to randomly select those to delete for storage purposes.

It does sound suspicious. Is it a one off or a regular thing?

I sometimes delete a message thread if I had complained about my partner/sister/child and thought there is a chance they would see it. However it would be very rare.

Try to retrieve them. Hopefully they'll be banal but you need to know.

I didn't know you could even retrieve messages on WhatsApp so I know nothing!

I would say very suspicious if he's deleting them from only her. I'm not sure asking him will help, as you said, he'll say nothing whether he's having an affair or not.

See if you can retrieve the messages.

I had no idea Whatsapp messages can be retrieved either... may have to look into this although I am not certain I'd be comfortable going behind his back like that...