Finally over but what do I do now???!!

[Mammiemaw]

So after years of name changing posts basically asking for the same advice (but not really taking it) I have finally told DH it is over
I cannot do it anymore. The drinking soiling himself and then anger at me the next day for daring to question him. I could tell you hundreds of similar stories. But now what do I do? I dont feel happy or relieved, I feel really really sad. He is blaming me and saying when I have to leave the house because I cannot afford it and have no car that I will regret it. He has cancelled the holiday and called his mum("she put me out") . He doesnt understand that it is him crossing the line (many times) that has led to this. DCs dont know yet. Sorry if jumping back and forth but my mind is a mess! What do I do about the mortgage. I cant afford a lawyer. I will barely get by on my own! I think i jumped out of the frying pan into the fire!!

No you haven't you have different problems but you can manage this telephone the mortgage company take advice ? You were in a marriage that could never work if you end up with nothing you can build it up again we only get one life be happy and don't settle for less !

You're sad because it's the end of an era, and your dreams have been trampled on. He'll have to go and live with his mum, won't he? Then she'll understand what you've had to live with. Money will be a pproblem but sometimes you can get a mortgage holiday while you try to sort it out

You do need some good advice tailored to your situation, whether or not you can afford a solicitor (personally I'd say it's every penny well spent but you have to have the pennies in the first place!) Do you have a Citizens Advice Bureau near you? They can suggest free or cheap legal advice. Are there any supportive family members who can lend you money or otherwise give you a hand? The house may have to be sold so that you can downsize, or you may get to live in it with the DC while he contributes to the costs, including the mortgage if he wants to get value out of it when it's eventually sold. If he's earning at all you're likely to be entitled to child maintenance. There are lots of possibilities but it all starts with finding out the facts.

No, you drew a line under a negative part of your life. You are now moving forward and starting a new chapter. As one chapter of your life comes to an end, a new one begins.

You don't have 'problems' to deal with, you have 'challenges' to contend with and like most things in life you will overcome them and put them behind you in search of new and fresh challenges. You need to do your research; solicitors, citizens advice bureau, free law advice workshops, your mortgage company, government website to check your eligibility for benefits and tax credits, if you or your children have any illnesses or disabilities then you can claim DLA and PIP which are not means tested. Call in favours from friends and family, etc.

You will get through this and one day in the not too far off future, you will look back and realise you absolutely did the right thing.

I just feel so overwhelmed with it all. Thanks for the hand holding and practical advise xx