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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I just accept our friendship is over?

5 replies

FairyF1 · 08/06/2018 22:18

Grateful for your advice. I have been friends with someone for over twenty five years (since we were at school) - I thought we were really close . When her mum died, had children, she had affairs, got divorced: I was there. We had lots of laughter, holidays, fun and good times as well. Unfortunately things have changed-she now has a new boyfriend and I have moved. We used to keep in touch but the calls have got less and less (she gets in touch and says lets catch up and then on the day cancels at the last minute). It wouldn't really matter but I'm going through a really hard time at the moment and could do with her friendship (my Dad is dying -which she knows about). I don't know whether just to forget about her and concentrate on building new friendships but its hard when you have been friends for so long. Just feel really hurt and to be honest a little let down. Should I just forget about our friendship - what would you do?

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 08/06/2018 22:21

I'm so sorry about your dad. Flowers

I think I wouldn't make a decision now, while you're so upset, but at the same time I wouldn't count on her for friendship. I would probably send one more text saying, "My dad hasn't got long now. I could really do with some support if you're free." Her reaction then will tell you everything.

Do you have other friends who can offer support?

Aria999 · 08/06/2018 23:00

Do you know what's going on in her life? Could she be depressed? Repeatedly cancelling at the last minute can be that.

Aria999 · 08/06/2018 23:01

Or the new boyfriend could be a control freak who doesn't like her to have friends? Sorry to hear about your Dad. Been there (my mum), it's hard.

Want2beme · 08/06/2018 23:02

Sorry about your dad. Just when you need your good friend, she's let you down. Has it always been you who's given more to the friendship? It seems odd that she's started to behave in this way. Do you think it could be her current boyfriend's influence?

From the sounds of it, she doesn't seem to have time for you and maybe she's just changed? I wouldn't try any more to be in touch with her and just see if she realises and makes an effort.

Is there anyone supporting you through this difficult time?Flowers

OliviaStabler · 08/06/2018 23:03

Very sorry about you Dad Flowers

Have you been clear with her that you need her support? I was wondering if she doesn't realise you need her.

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