Am I being taken for granted or am I overreacting?!

[Peach2018]

So I've been with my husband since I was 15, we have two young children together (2 and 4) he works really hard and I am so so thankful to him for that, I work part time, normally 2 days a week. I do EVERYTHING in our house, EVERYTHING to do with the children and EVERYTHING for him. He will walk in when he finishes work and literally not move from the sofa, everything is bought to him and he will sit there on his phone or watching tv until we go to bed. He doesn't really interact with the children, who during this time I'm feeding bathing clearing up after and putting to bed. A few nights a week he goes to the pub with his friends who he spends all day every day with at work. Tonight he was meant to come home and get us a take away, well obviously he hasn't and has gone to the pub till god knows when, and he knows I have had a really hard day today. He ignores my messages and phone calls, I feel as though I'm literally there for his convenience as and when he wants me. Am I overreacting and being unreasonable? I am so grateful for how hard he works I really am, and that is why I do everything for him without questioning it. I'd love to know other people's opinions! Sorry for the rant 🙈

If he hadn't chosen to marry and have children young, then he could expect to go out as many evenings a week as he liked, but he chose children - it's not usual to have several nights a week out when you have small dc. Do you get any evenings out?

It's a big change of dynamic you're wanting, so if I were you, I'd start with not waiting on him anymore. He can get off the bloody sofa, you're not his servant.

This is no way to go through life. You're only 25 and shackled to someone who treats you as a handy domestic appliance he can have sex with, too.

'- it's not usual to have several nights a week out when you have small dc. '

If you're a shit parent, I guess.

Hmm?

I think you misread despite quoting me, expat.

Oops, sorry, my bad.

Op, your h is a shit.

Its very easy to fall into that trap if you are a SAHM, and it's very easy to enable your DH to do absolutely nothing other than work.

OP, you are obviously not happy. I am guessing that you feel very reluctant to leave because you have invested your life in a family setup? And you are afraid of change? And you feel that you should make it work?

I think you need to tell him that you don't want to live like this and if he is not prepared to be more of a partner to you, then you see no other solution than separating. You must be prepared to follow through, though. You need to really think it through.

I separated from my DH in January for similar reasons. I am older than you, though, I'm 45, but 10 years ago I had no intention of leaving, even though I was fairly unhappy. I kept telling myself that it would get better when the DC were older and when we have more stable finances. Well, the DC got older and our finances became more stable, but our relationship was not better, in fact it was worse. So I told him it was over. I have not regretted my decision, and we have a much better relationship now that we don't live together.

Of course you can't see into the future, but do you think that time will make it better, worse or the same?