What to do about DF and loneliness?

[MarkleSparkle]

He's been on his own since my stepmum died 6 years ago. He's lonely, but I'm struggling with what to do.

The people in his village don't want to invite him to things because all he does is talk about himself and his interests, he's not interested in other people (One of his neighbours who did actually take him out told me this before they moved away.)

My DSis has a super hectic job and travels a lot so can rarely visit. I do try and take him out to places but he complains non-stop (my driving, the place, the staff) I know I should just tune it out but I find it exhausting.

He does have friends further afield who ring him up and take him out when they're around, but if they don't ring he will never ring them, iyswim - he will never instigate it. The DC don't want to visit, he never talks or engages with them. I do often take them but they always ask to stay at home (my DSis's kids are the same).

I don't know what else to suggest - any ideas?

How old is he? Bit harsh, for which I apologise, but it sounds like the issue is with his failure to engage with those around him rather than there not being anyone. You might need to talk to him about that or the pattern will just repeat.

You're flogging a dead horse here and I would leave him to his own devices from now on. At the very least you need to further raise your own too low boundaries re him. Its not down to you either to find solutions for what you perceive as his loneliness. And no, you do not have to merely tune this out either just because you are his daughter.

Would you have tolerated this from a friend, probably not. Your dad is no different. Why are you so mired in obligation with regards to your Dad?. What was he like to you and your sister when you were growing up?. It may well be that he has not fundamentally changed since your childhood.

His behaviours are exhausting you and other people have backed off here because of his self obsession. He is the common denominator here. Why are you taking your children over to see someone who they can clearly see is not interested?. Why are you doing that to yourself as well?

letall he is 80 but still active and mobile and able to drive etc. I have tried to say why don't you ring X instead of waiting for him to ring but he doesn't seem to take it onboard.

Attila wow I think I really needed to hear that, thank you. I always feel so guilty that I'm not doing enough.