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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dh of 18 yrs and the kiss - the end (thanks MN)

10 replies

WhatdoIdonow01 · 07/06/2018 21:03

Hi, I posted here last week looking for advice after receiving a great many txts from a woman who said dh kissed her. I was a bit freaked about the thread being up while the work was investigating it so I asked it to be taken down sorry. If anyone remembers and if anyone posted giving advice the good and the hard to read I really appreciate every one. DH, and he is "D"H again, has fought his corner and I am so proud. He was sexually harassed in the work place for 7 weeks and it was a very low time for him as he was afraid for his job, grieving and just plain needed help and was targeted specifically. His HR and legal dept have all the proof he gave them, the cctv, the deleted emails and has it in writing clearing him in full and apologising on the behalf of the company. I can't tell you how glad I am I stuck around long enough to hear his side and I can 100% say he was the victim here.

He is in counselling (went last night) and will go weekly for a while. He is also doing well with interviews but doesn't "have" to leave. He told his work that if there was any further contact the police would be involved. She went into work and security were waiting for her, she was brought to the conference room to meet the legal team who flew over and with HR/Manager/CTO on conference call, they presented her with the proof (she did try say we contacted her husband and told him, but when asked who her husband was and if they could confirm that she couldn't come up with a name for her "husband" funnily enough). She was let go with immediate effect for gross misconduct, they had boxed up her desk and escorted from the building.She was lucky no legal charges were brought against her.

Wondering will she realise she was let off easily or will we have another drama. Dh is understandably nervous there will be some retaliation so am I. Hoping this is the last of it and we can work on getting over it. Who targets a grieving family like that?!

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 07/06/2018 21:27

WhatdoIdonow01

it's credit to you Lady ... you took time and sought all the facts before jumping to conclusions.. your DH is lucky to have you by his side...

I'm so pleased that his Company took this complaint to the max...

Congratulations to your DH on doing the right thing.. alot of men wouldn't have done so out of sheer embarrassment ..

Best wishes to you both... and I hope this is the end of it..

Flowers
offside · 07/06/2018 22:21

I’m so pleased for you and your DH. It must have been so difficult for him. I imagine he never thought he would be believed and that people would think of him as weak but he should be proud of himself and you should be too.

I hope once you’re both on the other side of this that you live a happy healthy life together

KeziaOAP · 08/06/2018 07:17

Followed your thread hoping for a good outcome. So pleased for you the company has exonerated your DH in what has been a very stressful situation. Hopefully you'll hear no more from the perpetrator. Wishing you both well.

SoapOnARoap · 08/06/2018 07:54

His company sound fantastic. But, that should be the norm, in 2018.

I hope she has the book thrown at her.

PoxiePoe · 08/06/2018 12:15

Glad your DH was exonerated.

It can be a nightmare when you come across these people, they can turn your world upside down, and it can be very distressing. I know from experience unfortunately (a female psychopath at work who tried to destroy my reputation).

As offside said, wishing you a happy and positive future.

WhatdoIdonow01 · 08/06/2018 14:00

Thanks all I really appreciate the advice. It help. I think I went into a mode of needing to close ranks and sorting out his work before I could sort out the relationship. I am glad I did, I think he needed me to handle it for him and support him and I really needed to protect our family even if it was from him. We have had some hugs and he understands the world was pulled from under me and I need time. He told his work he would let them know when he would be back, he is really enjoying not to have to worry about work for a while and we are just spending time together even if its just in the car and chatting.

He put a tracker app on his phone as he was meeting his solicitor for his dads estate and I needed to be home. He said he felt safer knowing I could see where he was , that shows how hes been affected by everything to me.

I think his work was so relieved that the woman didn't sue them when she went to move teams they just never thought to ask any of the right questions or put any of the right procedures in place so they panicked when they realised how wrong they got it. His boss said she saw the CCTV and she said it was awful to watch and apologised no one was there to help him, I don't want to see it, I have see his reaction if its mentioned :(

Anyway, onwards and upwards, today is a good day

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 08/06/2018 18:33

I remember the thread and remember saying is believe uour DH. I'm glad the stupid women has gone and with you both well.

RainySeptember · 08/06/2018 19:01

I followed your thread and will admit to having doubts about your dh's story. But I'm so pleased that it's worked out for you both.

NotTheFordType · 08/06/2018 19:35

If your dh's company proceeded in the exact way you've described, they've left themselves wide open to a tribunal, but hey that's their problem. Glad things are good for you and your dh.

WhatdoIdonow01 · 08/06/2018 21:58

Rainy, you and me both regarding the doubt tbh

NotTheFordType, I am not sure what you mean, everything was as I said, obviously we weren't there at the time but what she did was gross misconduct and grounds for immediate dismissal. If it was a man who acted as she did they would be lucky not to be charged with something. I wont feel sorry for how things acted for her, she brought it on herself.

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