Overwhelmed and not sure where to start!

[Mumao]

I’m going to try and make this as short as possible.

I feel like my life is out of control and I’ve lost myself. I think most of this is down to my relationship with my OH. We are unhappy, don’t have sex and he refuses to talk to me.

I have had pnd and anxiety. I now have social anxiety and drink too much when I’m out with friends so I feel confident. I feel like I don’t have any close friends that I can talk to as they have their own stuff going on and I’ve bored them with my relationship problems since dc was born two years ago.

I just don’t know where to start with working on myself if I’m in an unhappy relationship. He won’t talk to me and he won’t leave. I’m not sure if breaking up is the right thing to do? I don’t know if I love him and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t love me. He’s unsupportive and not nice or caring towards me.

I’m just looking for advice on how to unjumble my mind and decide where to start.

Counselling may be a good start if you're not already having it for your anxiety, which then will help with your drinking, which then may ensure you see thinks clearly. I suspect you'll end up breaking up but the counselling sounds sensible anyway.

Do you have anyone you can talk to in real life? It's great to talk here but talking in person is even better.

It might be worth going to the GP, get a checkup to make sure there's nothing physical happening and perhaps see about anti-depressants or counselling or both to help with your anxiety.

Then you could do just one thing for yourself - start a new hobby, go and get a lovely haircut - as a way of committing to yourself that you're going to take care of you from here on in. In time you need to leave your shithead of a husband but it sounds like you're not at all in the place to do it yet, so you need to start by being kind to yourself and building the strength to get to that place.

You've already taken the first step by posting here. There are lots more to go, but you just have to do one at a time and you've already begun. Good luck!

I do have a couple of friends I can confide in and have done. However one has a lot going on herself and the other is in a new relationship and a bit wraped up in it. I don’t mean to sound harsh but I have spoken to her and I just don’t think she gets it.

I have been to the dr for pnd and went for cbt but I really don’t think it was for me. I don’t want to take anti-depressants as I’m convinced my relationship is 99% of the problem now. I was given some the last time I went to the dr but things got a bit better with oh and I didn’t feel I needed them.

Things have gotten bad with oh again and I’m getting very low again. This keeps happening. We have a disagreement, he stonewalls me, I say it’s over abd I’m at breaking point, he makes an effort and things are ok then we go back to square one.

He’s stonewalling me at the moment. I hurt my back on Monday and couldn’t move. He was moody and slamming things around the house so I asked him what was wrong. He wouldn’t say and I gather it’s because he had to take the reins for a day or two... i told him he was out of order, pretty sure he just thought I was being lazy.

I’m due to have surgery soon and will be out of action for at least 2 weeks and off work for a month. I said if he can’t take over for 2 days how am I meant to go ahead with the surgery!?

This was Tuesday and hes not spoken to me since!

I feel like I’m going mad!