Snoring v sleeping together

[Nellia]

Okay my dh snores.

Not a quiet occasional thing but the kind that jumps you out of your sleep and makes you fantasise about using a pillow to suffocate them with.

We currently sleep seperatly but I hate that we do despite the fact that it is the only way I can get sleep. It feels weird to me and not a long term solution as there is no spare room.

Any suggestions for solving it tried nasel strips earplugs etc dont work.

He needs to see his GP and asap; this may be caused by sleep apnoea which is serious. I would record him also and play this recording back to the GP.

Have you tried the wax earplugs, they muffle a lot more than the usual foam ones.

My DP is a light sleeper and he swears by them. We can even sleep with the window open now and we live on a busy road with lots of traffic.

I used to use earplugs (ordered proper industrial ones for factories online) but then we had a baby so couldn’t do this!
Now he has one of those nose plugs from boots, they’re silicone and a pack of 3, works a charm.
The stick on nose strips worked 70% of the time but used to irritate his skin but the little silicone things have worked fine since.

Can I ask OP if you sleep on the sofa or does he (you said no spare room)? My DH snores and I have a spare double bed and ear plus as I have become more sensitive to noise since having DS.

I won't lie, it's bliss. My DH is trying to lose weight to reduce snoring and we are looking into a super king size so we can get back into the same bed but tbh I will miss it when it comes to an end!

Snoring - agree with others, have it investigated medically. But in the meantime a compromise? Sleep alone 5 days a week and together 2. for example? Regardless of the snoring, not everyone wants to sleep with their partner, some find it disturbs their sense of space and relaxation, but there are ways to compromise.

Have you got another bed in the room or do you sleep on the sofa right now?

Enough sleep is important for mental health, especially for sensitive types. Not getting enough sleep can make you ill and stressed. Make sure you get what you need.

Thanks for responses.
Havent tried wax or industrial earplugs just ones from boots and lloyds but they where really uncomfortable and diff to sleep in.

Been gp its nor apnoea. He was a smoker and although now on ecigs his breathing is very heavy when sleeping even without the snores.

We swap on the sofa generally fall asleep together and then if hes had a tough day I will get up and go downstairs or if me visa versa when it starts. I enjoy the sleep but dont necceserily need space from the cuddles.

Finding it quite hard as weve been through a real rollorcoster in our relationship and I dont want anymore drama.

Dont get me wrong we arent fighting over this. He always looks guilty and is apologetic when it happens because lack of sleep reaaaally shows on me (red eyes, bags etc) its just that I wish it wasnt an issue.

I was just using some people needing more space as another legitimate example. Needing your sleep when you are being sleep-deprived because of snoring is another. They're quite separate (though I guess some people might have both).

Honestly I think a nice chat about it might help. If you love sleeping in the same place and like the cuddles tell him!? Maybe you can both try and work together to come up with another kind of solution?

If its not improved after giving up smoking (albeit now on e-cigarettes) another trip to GP? Others here might have better advice. There have been loads of threads on this topic over the years. If you google you might get lots more ideas.

"Been gp its nor apnoea. He was a smoker and although now on ecigs his breathing is very heavy when sleeping even without the snores."

He needs to go back to the GPs and see another person within the practice; how did this person determine it is not sleep apnoea?. This needs to be checked further to determine the root causes. His snoring is not normal nor is it something that you should put up with.

Do not continue to sleep on the sofa; doing so will give you back problems.

Let me guess, he’s not had a sleep study and at best has done a questionnaire. According to the questionnaire and examination done by the ENT specialist, DH had restricted airway but didn’t score enough to get a sleep study.

Long story short, private sleep study done and 96 episodes an hour (moderate sleep apnea is only 35!) so now has a CPAP machine. He swore blind he wouldn’t be able to sleep with a mask and tubes but that first night he slept like a baby and actually realised what he’d been missing out on. He now doesn’t snore at all when before I struggled to sleep on separate floors, not just sroerate rooms

Please, please listen to those who are saying to push for him to have a sleep study...pay for it if you have to, vital for ling term health if he does have any sleep apnea
In the mean time all he can do is lose weight ( if this is an issue) stop drinking and sleep on his side

Doesnt drink and ironically is incredibly fit as very sporty. Smoking was his only vice.

Will try and get him back to the gp I guess. Thanks for the advice

Some people snore just because they have naturally narrower airways. So when their airways relax at night, it causes the snoring sound.

My DH is a terrible snorer, and he uses an oral device. It legit saved our marriage!! Its like a mouthguard you wear that pushes your jaw slightly forward so your airway opens properly (and you don't hear any snoring). I bought his from Boots, a Snoreeze one, but since then I've saw them online for cheaper on their website. Try it, it's fab.

Thanks for all this advice. I'm in the same boat. We sleep separately. He starts snoring v soon after going to sleep and its really loud. I'm on the separate floor thing too!

Any device is great if that’s where the problem is! Worth trying them out. If the nose ones don’t work that’s not to say the mouth guard won’t.

If none of them do then it could be a narrowing of the whole airway which the CPAP could then help with.

Does he sleep on his back? Sleeping on his side might reduce the snoring. I know that from experience.

However, I agree that you should get your DH to go to the GP. The snoring could be a symptom of something more serious.

Set up proper separate bedrooms about 6 years ago and never looked back.

I’ve posted about snoring DH before. I’ve lived with it for years.

We sleep apart occasionally. Some weeks every night, others one or two nights. Depends! I know his triggers and mine. We don’t sleep together if; I’ve got an early start or a long drive, or he has, if he’s had an especially tiring day, a big meal or even one beer, or if he is unwell. We didn’t used to have a spare bed, but now we do which helps. I would strongly advise you to swap the sofa for a proper sofa bed so you both feel like there is a decent alternative. He’s able to sleep anywhere whereas I can’t, so with good grace he is the one to decant to the spare bed.

We always end up in ‘our’ bed for a tea in the morning.