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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My 60 year old dad's 4th fiance is 27 years old.

2 replies

PineappleTurtle · 06/06/2018 15:31

My dad is nearly 60. He has been through woman after woman all his life. He has just announced he is engaged to his 27 year old Romanian girlfriend (he doesn't speak Romanian, she speaks very little English). I am 27 myself so the age thing really gets to me.

He has potential ASD traits but also is plain difficult. Every relationship has been the same: affair, quick engagements, a few years of 'honeymoon period' and then kids come along and by the time they are 8 he gets bored, hates the attention not being on him and the inevitable difficulties of family life. Then he has an affair (always with a much younger woman - e.g. last time she was 19, this time 27) and eventually ditches his wife for the next one. Each time he makes his ex-wife feel they are to blame. He does the whole 'mid life crisis' script and has them doing everything to save the relationship while he has no intention of staying in it.

I now have very little contact with him. I really resent him for how he left my mum, was emotionally abusive, didn't contact me for a year when he first left as he moved abroad without telling me and never apologised or took any kind of blame for what he did to our family (I was 9 when he left). It makes me even more cross to see he has done it again to the next wife and then the next and each time he has moved half way across the world from his other kids and barely sees them again (partly his choice, partly me and my step siblings rejecting him).

It is a cycle and I can only see it going on and on. People say you can't judge relationships based on age but it kills me to see an innocent, probably quite naive woman, be taken in by his fake initial charm. I hate to think of the kids he will no doubt have with her and then eventually abandon again. I wish I could warn her but I know I'd come across as a psycho daughter!

Just posting for a rant and anyone who can share experiences or words of wisdom.

OP posts:
Bodicea · 06/06/2018 15:52

My 70 year old dad has recently divorced my mum and married in secret ( but admitted 6 months later) his 40 year old Russian girlfriend. He had always cheated but I think my mum thought he might settle down at some point. He has lived abroad for big chunks of my life and is a typical twatty expat. Since marrying her I have heard less and less from him. It has been six months since I got an email and he has missed his grandchildren’s birthdays. I have decided to cut him out of my life. He rang Recently as he was back in The country. He says he was back in november and came to my house three time but I wasn’t in. Total lie. My son has started asking why he hasn’t visited. I don’t want him getting hurt.
Plus I can’t bring myself to play happy families with this woman. I’ve stopped enjoying spending time with him anyway. I can’t even go out for a meal with him without him makeing smarmy comments to the waitress. It’s humiliating and I can’t be arsed with the bullshit and lies anymore.

In my case the woman will prob fuck him over once he has finished paying for her son to go through private school and she finds someone richer ( he isn’t rich, just likes to act like he is but has lost most of his money through stupid ventures).

In your case I wouldn’t have any sympathy for the woman. She is clearly after a meal ticket and was quite happy to use her youth and beauty to steal him off another woman and ruin a family. I hate women like this and she deserves everything she gets.

Some men are just selfish bastards who only think with one thing.. Cut him out of your life and your life will be much better. I feel nothing but relief.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 06/06/2018 16:16

"She is clearly after a meal ticket and was quite happy to use her youth and beauty to steal him off another woman and ruin a family. I hate women like this and she deserves everything she gets."

Yep, this

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