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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

AIBU to be upset w DP?

9 replies

Londonmamabychance · 06/06/2018 13:41

We are moving to another country this coming Sat. I'm going ahead w the kids and DP will stay behind to ship out stuff, check out of the flat etc, as easier w the kids not around. We are moving to my home country so I'll. e staying w my family until he comes. WE are leaving Sat morning, and plan is for DP to take us to airport and then I fly in my own. Kids are 3 and 1. DP will join us after 9 days.
DP will have his last day at work this Friday. He just texted me and asked if it's okay if he goes out for goodbye drinks this Friday but "won't be home late". I really don't want him to, as im sure I won't be finished w the packing yet, will be b tired and probably emotional about moving, and we won't see each other for 10 days, and the journey on Sat is bound to be exhausting so just want to have a reasonably chilled and nice last evening in our flat. He has more than a week to organise leaving drinks w his colleagues, and there's already been organised one leaving do for him by Other friends who are all in a similar circle next week, that he could justness invite his current colleagues to. Or he could meet w current colleagues another evening next week. I know io would be more convenient for him to have leaving drinks the day he actually finishes, but he works in a very social industry so think people wouldn't mind at all meeting up another day next week, especially if he just say she my wife and kids are travelling next morning and I need to go home and help w the final packing and spend time w them. AIBU?

OP posts:
LongWalkShortPlank · 06/06/2018 13:46

I don't think either of you are really being unreasonable. I think it's more you just need to agree to a compromise. Maybe he could just go for an hour, bring home a take away and you can spend the rest of the night together?

Ohyesiam · 06/06/2018 13:52

What does he say when you ask him to change nights?

Cricrichan · 06/06/2018 13:53

Yes neither of you is being unreasonable - just have a chat and come up with a plan to suit both.

Footballmumofthefuture · 06/06/2018 13:53

I don't think either of you are really being unreasonable. I think it's more you just need to agree to a compromise. Maybe he could just go for an hour, bring home a take away and you can spend the rest of the night together?

This

Penyu · 06/06/2018 13:56

Moving countries is stressful, especially with small children, I have done it several times.
Be on your best game! A hangover is not recommended. He is not thinking of you or the children.

SoapOnARoap · 06/06/2018 14:13

I think YABU, a bit

Londonmamabychance · 06/06/2018 14:18

I just suggested to him he can come home at 9, he said okay. I also first told him was upset etc which I probably shouldn't have. It's because I'm generally stressed out w the move and feel like the 9 days alone at my parents will be quite tough as they don't help out much, and meanwhile he will be slowly packing the last bits (I've done vast majority), seeing friends and having lie ins! Suppose I slightly feel I've come up short in this one and the fact he wants to go out the last night we are all together just grates.

OP posts:
Footballmumofthefuture · 06/06/2018 14:21

you really have come up the short one OP and you aren't being U at all.

taking a 1 & 3 year old on a long flight to a different country and spending 9 days alone with said children is extremely hard.
He definitley could help you with the last bits and organise something in those 9 days.

Londonmamabychance · 06/06/2018 14:52

It's so ironic and inevitable though isn't it, shit gender roles. I'm the only one who can organise all the stuff as I'm the one who know about about the kids clothes and the majority of our stuff. Arg.

OP posts:
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