Why do I feel so bad about this?

[CourtneyLovely]

Background: DP has a low sex drive and also ED. We don't live together so combined with the above, DTD normally takes a bit of planning and is rarely spontaneous. I've spent many a night lying next to him, sleepless and frustrated because he didn't want to or he couldn't. I love him and respect that his sex drive is lower than mine. I have a well-used bullet!

Anyway, tonight I was supposed to go to his and DTD was definitely happening. Except I've had a horrible day at work, I don't feel well and just as I was leaving work I had to deal with a distressing first aid incident. By the time I got home and phoned DP to tell him I wasn't coming over he'd already taken one of his "special" pills.

He was sympathetic and said never mind, let's reconvene at the weekend then let me moan about my day and cheered me up by telling me some tattle about his own day. He told me he loves me and to have a bath and an early night.

So why do I feel guilty about letting him down?!

Because he's being so understanding about it? You really don't need to feel bad.

Is it all guilt mixed in with a little disappointment that you're missing a rare opportunity to have sex? Or a little disappointment that he's so fine about it?

Yes, agree with Stinkachoo that maybe there's a part of you that wanted him to express more disappointment to reflect your own. Also, there is probably frustration due to missing out on intimacy.

Think you're probably right. I've not always handled what feels like his rejection very well and he thinks I have a one-track mind, whereas a lot of the time it's less about me wanting sex and more about me wanting him to want me. I think I've just had a massive self-revalation.