STBX hates me

[FicusReligiosa]

This January my husband of 13+ years decided to divorce me. Told me he had been staying in the relationship all along for the sake of our DD. He was deeply unsatisfied with our sex life (I have had a low sex drive for many years, GP blames depression), resulting in us having sex once a week, sometimes more often, but other times less. We had talked about that a lot, I had offered to do couples therapy but we never went. I had told him openly, that he was free to meet other women - simply because I understand his needs - and I truly meant that. I loved him and I understood that sex meant a lot to him. He acted upon my proposal.
So now he is divorcing me. Fair enough. At the same time he blames me for our failed marriage, saying I had been making him miserable for ages. And that the only bright spot is our DD. If it wouldn't be for her, he would gladly never see me again.
This is killing me. I acknowledge we were not perfect sex-wise, but I did what I could. And I never meant to torture him on purpose or make his life miserable.

He's entitled to feel as he does. The best thing would be to try and remain amicable for your DD.

When a marriage comes down to allowing sex outside..it's really over.

You now have the opportunity to find someone more compatible if you wish.

I don't think sex once a week is so ridiculously infrequent that he had to go outside the marriage.

I also think you sound like a bit of a doormat. I'm sorry to say it, but even now you are worrying about what he thinks of you. In fact, you have probably spent so many years being unappreciated and mistreated, capitulating to his every whim, that you don't know how to stop.

He made you feel like you weren't enough, shagged someone else, rewrote your history by cruelly telling you he'd been unhappy for ages, and ultimately left you. Honestly, I wouldn't be worrying about what you did wrong because, whatever it was, it fades into significance next to what he has done.